Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening wherever you are in the world. It’s Dr. Jan Fortman with Relationship Matters. I hope everyone is having a beautiful morning or afternoon or evening. Well, you know what, I don’t have a soap box to get on because you know usually I’m on my COVID box. However, what I will say is that it is still October and it is still Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I’m urging you ladies out there and men also really because breast cancer can also attack men, have your mammograms. Ladies and men, if there’s a woman in your life and she hasn’t had her mammogram, urge her to get hers. But even anyway, ask her has she had her mammogram because this is something that we want to wipe out. Well, let’s get on with the show with Relationship Matters. I met this young lady in Houston, Texas at a week-long networking event, um conference, and uh she just impressed me so that I told her then you know we have to keep up this relationship. Now you know how sometimes you go places, you go to workshops, you go to conferences, meetings, whatever and you meet people and you just say oh yeah well we got to stay in touch and you really don’t. But we had to stay in touch. So let me tell you before I bring her on, let me tell you a little bit about Valessa. She owns her own private practice and it’s called Gold Core Mind Soul LLC. She’s a certified trauma and resilience expert, she’s an author, a keynote speaker, and she’s a consultant. And what she does, she helps her clients achieve extraordinary levels of success by discovering their Core Power and we’re going to talk about that Core Power. She’s a sought after, a very much sought after consultant to business leaders, to professionals, executives, veterans and she has a font of wisdom in positive core transformation. And guess what, she’s a veteran, an Air Force veteran and she served in Iraq. So I, I’ve got to bring her on. I, I, I’m so happy to have her here with me today. Dr. J Herbert, I’m just great. How are you?

Valessa L Taylor
I am wonderful and thank you for inviting me on your show today.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Well, you know what, first of all, we want to thank you for your service to our country.

Valessa L Taylor
You’re welcome.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
And, and you know wait, when you sent me your bio, uh I didn’t see that in there and so I said let me go on her site and I’m like whoa what oh my God yes. Well, we’re going to get into that a little later. Okay, now where are you located? Where are you right now?

Valessa L Taylor
Uh right now I reside in Frisco, Texas near Dallas area.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Oh okay, okay. I was born in Dallas. Yeah and uh uh we go back there uh every now and then. I used to go back there for family reunions but every now and then but I still have, I have, I have uh relatives there and oh so you’re located in Dallas where I hope it’s warm. Yeah, you know what I said I was, I wasn’t going to start off with the military but I, I am. Why did you, did you decide to join the military?

Valessa L Taylor
Well, that’s a great question. Um coming from a small town of Greenville, Mississippi, me and my husband decided that we wanted to get away from a small town. So he went into the army for four years and he did Intel in the Army and then he only did four and then he said okay now it’s your turn. You’re either gonna do the Air Force or the Navy and I decided to do the Air Force.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Really? Yes, isn’t it difficult really to get into the Air Force?

Valessa L Taylor
That’s what everybody says. I just went in there and said and took the test. I passed, I was famous. I went in to uh actually I was a security forces and then I end up uh reclassing into Transportation which is logistics. So that, that was the one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So, so Logistics, exactly what is that? What did you have to do?

Valessa L Taylor
Okay, well Logistics is that all goes into moving your, your personal belongings, Transportation. Okay, you know that’s all dealing with the logistical piece and especially when you’re deploying, you have to have your weapons, you have to have your meals, you have to know the location that you’re going. So those are all Logistics that we have to prepare individuals, even civilians when they’re relocating, that’s a logistics piece that we have to uh prepare for. So you can’t do anything without Logistics. We are the key to the puzzle.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, so did you ever want to be a pilot?

Valessa L Taylor
Everybody always asked me that. No, Air Force is not about, not just about flying but we do have different missions to include medical, uh Transportation as I say, Security Forces. It’s so many different fields that you can be able to come in besides a pilot.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, so how long did you serve?

Valessa L Taylor
I served 22 years.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Wow.

Valessa L Taylor
Yes, a quick story about that. Okay, I went to my recruiter and he goes okay you haven’t been accepted in the Air Forces. One thing you got to do, just got to keep your mouth shut. Okay, open and opinionated as far as in making sure I’d let people know how I feel of course in a nice manner but um I did that and I thought I was going to do two months and I end up doing 22 years.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Wait a minute, two months?

Valessa L Taylor
I thought I was gonna do two. I was like I can’t, I can’t do it. I was calling my grandma, come here, I can’t, I can’t make it, I can’t make it. I’ll kill it in two months and she say stay with it baby, stay with it, you got this and I end up doing 22 months, 22 years.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Wow, wow that’s, that’s, that’s really really something. And it said here in your bio uh about running multi-million dollar projects uh and Sister Sister Services. Now what is that?

Valessa L Taylor
Sister Services are other branches of the service. You got your Marines, different other branches, we call them sister Services.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, oh okay, okay. And it says including public speaking, life coaching and, and so did you do any of that while, while you were in the service?

Valessa L Taylor
Actually I did public speaking that I did that and I will say instructor as well at the 37 training Wing which is the number one training base in the in the Air Force. So I end up becoming a instructor and I taught people how to speak in public. I end up doing a uh six week course on that and I also uh was able to be able to write courses and curriculum. So that’s where my journey began of being a public speaking was the launch in my Air Force career.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Oh okay, I, I see and, and you are a uh outstanding, awesome public speaker. I have to say that.

Valessa L Taylor
Thank you.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
I’m really in, in and I, I really mean it. And also I saw that where you were, you are the first African-American Iraq war veteran to do a TEDx talk. How did that come about?

Valessa L Taylor
Well and that Juneteenth in there now at June, sorry in Veracruz, Mexico.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, so tell us about that.

Valessa L Taylor
Oh actually this is so funny. It was where we were at one of the Gentlemans was in the audience and saw me speak. Oh and he asked me to come on as a speaker and I told him no three times. Okay and then he’s, he came back and had an interpreter to come on and he said only thing you got to do is to show up, we got the rest. And I said really? He said yeah just get your airline ticket and show up, we got the rest. And literally it was one of the best experiences of my life. That is where I really connected to the Core and allowing my faith to be the Forefront of letting the world know how authentic I can be sharing a powerful story.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So, so uh What story did you, did you share?

Valessa L Taylor
I shared resilience is the secret to my success.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, so tell us about it.

Valessa L Taylor
Okay, so the Journey of my walk was that I was supposed to have an interpreter but at the last minute they couldn’t do it. So I end up, you know how you just go over, you want to go over your speech and you can’t. So I left my speech on the chair when I was getting ready to aboard the plane. So what I’m saying to you is everything was pulled from me, my speech and then the lady I share my story when I got there to Mexico and she said we have similar stories, let me take your phone and so I can videotape it for you. So long story short was that I felt like God was taking everything away from me so I can share my story and just be authentic about everything. So what I end up doing is share my story, the story that I was approved by TEDx was not the story that I shared. So what I end up doing is share my story of how I overcame certain obstacles such as my children that suffered from a mental illness. I was there to be their cheerleader, how I served 22 years in the United States Air Force and I went back to my core to become resilient on the journey. I also talked about how it’s important just to be kind and loving and also to let them know that you can do anything that you want to do and resilience is truly the backbone to adversity.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, okay so what rank uh did you, did you serve in the military?

Valessa L Taylor
I was a E7, that’s the top three of the enlisted core. Okay, we also call it um senior, senior enlisted officer and they also, we also call it a master sergeant.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So, so now you are an African-American woman and you’re in the Air Force. Tell me about your experiences, you know uh was it, was it you think it was more difficult for you or easier for you?

Valessa L Taylor
Um I would say see I’m, I’m the type of person I can go into any situation and just be myself. As I said before I can be opinionated but also I can share with you how I’m feeling. So I’ve always had that Gift of Gab of just being able to communicate and along my journey starting out as, as no sleeves meaning I, I work my way all the way to all the way to the top with no rank to have becoming a senior enlisted executive in my Air Force career. So it’s everything has its place and I will say this, the people that did not serve me well, they made me more of a conqueror and a Survivor throughout my journey and matter of fact I looked up at them because if it wasn’t for them I would not be who I am today.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay and so did you have special training um because I’m really interested in you worked your way up and then you, you know you became a trainer as far as as uh teaching public speaking. So how I, you know I’m really curious how did that come about, you know did they just say to you well we need someone to train people in public speaking or if you take courses you know or did you, you know how did that come about?

Valessa L Taylor
Okay, so let me walk you through a little bit of my journey. So I can’t no rank but then I came in as a no strikes but then you when I said I signed in for it, well really I, I became uh Transportation, yeah Personnel, yeah and which we talked about that. So throughout my ranks over so many periods of years you’ll get another rank. So with all that being said I, I just made it all the way up to as we say enlisted E7, yeah okay. So but what they have in the Air Force which most services do, they have what we call special Duty assignments. Okay, so when I when I left McGuire Air Force Base I worked for a general officer and he said Valessa you’re so articulate. Okay, I think you should become a a teacher at the schoolhouse. So I end up becoming a teacher at the schoolhouse. So I end up teaching Logistics transportation. Once I got done with that I end up going back to my career, my career field. So that was a special Duty assignment. Okay, outside of what I did then I went back to Logistics transportation and then after that I decided Hmm this will be another opportunity to go a little differently than my career field. So I chose to become what we call a basic instructor at the schoolhouse at Lackland Air Force Base. Oh so I became an instructor so I taught people how to speak in public. I was able to uh teach them how to write a lesson plan, how to when you’re up there I would teach them how to not say arms us or stop expressions and I the last thing I was able to do is turn a person from crying to to wanting to get up on stage and talk.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Wow, okay.

Valessa L Taylor
Yes, yes.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Wait, the and I had to chuckle when you said the arms and and uh because I’m in Toastmasters and and the arms and the O’s and you knows I feel the words and and my favorite one is soap and when we have to uh uh evaluate each other that’s one of the reasons we evaluate and and we have what we call an ah counter uh our counter a grammarian and then that person counts the eyes and the um and the souls and stuff like that and when I did my first speech I was the queen of Oz I think in seven minutes I had about 15 of them.

Valessa L Taylor
Oh wow, okay.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So I don’t do much that was myself I don’t do my eyes anymore but it’s hard for me to get rid of the Soul so I probably need your training.

Valessa L Taylor
Yeah, I would love to you Dr. J, I would love to.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
And I must say now after you got out of the service what did you do?

Valessa L Taylor
After I got out of the service I had time to think. Okay and when I said I had time to think I end up becoming a self-published author and start talking about my pain to paper is what I called it because I, I had uh it was me at 13. So I suffered in silence for over 33 years and I needed to get rid of that pain. So I became a self-published author in 2017. The book is entitled Raped the Silence for Good Girls Don’t Tell it to Now which includes a companionship to the workbook. And what I love about the workbook which all of us at some point some form of fashion have suffered in silence and what I asked you are you suffering in silence and write that Fearless letter to your abuser, read it out loud and journal out your thoughts and that’s powerful.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Oh my goodness, yeah uh uh so you did you turned your pain actually uh into your, your passion so.

Valessa L Taylor
Yeah absolutely.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yeah okay, all right okay and okay so now you, you wrote your book uh-huh and did you do public speaking based on your book did you, you know?

Valessa L Taylor
Yeah that’s a great question. I did not do my public speaking about the book. I just did my public speaking about entrepreneurship, how to win in silence and still be a conqueror out loud. Those were some of my messages that I spoke about when I first started out and um it was really mental muscles for me basically because I had already got that, that, that uh Foundation from my military career. So this I end up doing was using what I’ve already learned and I put in motion to talk to people of what I’ve already learned from my military career and I’m so grateful I serve because if I didn’t serve I wouldn’t be the woman, the mother and anyone else that I can. I’m just speechless because I went from a little girl from a small town of Greenville, Mississippi. I travel the world, I started off in Delaware, Colorado, I went to, I lived in Germany, I also lived in Korea and uh what other, yeah so those are the main places and I love diversity. So with my journey of my walk I can truly say I’ve traveled the world, I met some amazing people and from my military career I had and I still do have some great mentors.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, so you formed some, some really great relationships. A question came in it says here um uh tell us how important public speaking is in relationships and how it can improve our lives and how it improved your life.

Valessa L Taylor
Okay, let’s, let’s it sounds like a three questions.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yeah.

Valessa L Taylor
Let’s start off with the first part.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, can you give me the first part again?

Valessa L Taylor
Okay, so let me, let me, let me see it again. Um okay, how important Public Relation is in relationships, that’s the first five.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, the public relations is so important because like you and I talked about Dr. J, we got to know each other.

Valessa L Taylor
Wait a minute, hold on you know I don’t have my glasses on, it’s not public relations, it’s public speaking.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
Because I was gonna say you said purple relation, I’m going with the public.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Now how is public speaking important in relationships?

Valessa L Taylor
Yes, uh-huh. Okay, public speaking is important in relationships because that, that’s one of the foundations of building your confidence up. When you are in the public speaking realm that is where you’re going to have some of your biggest aha moments. I told anybody one of the lessons I would tell you is to go to the mirror and start practicing. Most of the fears, one of the number one fears is people don’t want to speak. Yeah, so to overcome some of that is get into a mirror and talk to yourself. Okay and that and you know whatever that’s important to you because that’s going to build your mental muscles but also it’s going to teach you how to overcome some of those fears which is speaking.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay and I guess as far as relationships are concerned when you think about it if you can overcome that fear of public speaking so to speak then you can really overcome the fear of meeting new people and forming relationships actually getting over shyness so uh in a way.

Valessa L Taylor
Absolutely and so that goes back to that mirror piece but see a lot of times if you just start having a conversation, having an eye contact and work on those things, the two things are important when you’re speaking is having a great eye contact to connect with your audience. Yeah and also let them know that you’re not afraid to share your story. Yeah, have that powerful energy when you connect with them even you know you may stumble over a few words, you do not have to say excuse me, they already know you did it so go on and keep the flow going. A lot of times most speakers will tell you they do get nervous in the beginning.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Oh look, wait a minute now not, not only in the beginning uh I, I, you know I get nervous now unless I’m speaking in, in to an audience if unless I’m really familiar with the people. Yeah, you know if I don’t know the people or I’m not familiar it’s like oh yeah.

Valessa L Taylor
Yeah, well what, what I normally do um and I think some people can probably relate to this when I am doing a speech I always arrived there early but I always try to go in and get to know them a little bit. Yeah, so when I get on stage and I make that eye contact with them it’s more natural and it’s more inviting because you’ve already made that connections prior to you getting on that stage.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, alrighty so Valessa look now you made me aware of my Souls I was released I, I had I should write it you know put a little Notch every time I see it but anyway um I’m going to take a quick commercial and when we come back I want to talk with you about your coaching and I want to talk to you about Core Power and exactly what you mean by Core Power. Okay, alrighty so oh God I said it again we will be right back don’t go anywhere and I’m going to try not to say so.

[Music]

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
For the whole month of October we talked about believing and we need to believe to the end of this year so we can do what we need to do next year so catch the finale on Friday and Sunday.

[Music]

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Well we are back with Valessa L Taylor, certified trauma and resilience expert. So Valessa, now we’re talking about, we talked about the public speaking and we talked about your career in the service. How did you become and why did you become a trauma and resilience expert?

Valessa L Taylor
That is a very good question, it’s through my life experiences. Um my mother was a parent of schizophrenic and I grew up that way and although she was that she didn’t allow her to uh not become successful because she was a majored in business and she did um hair on the side but unfortunately it took a toll on her because she didn’t feel worthy of who she was or is and she’s no longer with me but I carry her in my heart daily.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, um and so that’s how you became um um and resilience coach well and and you became certified.

Valessa L Taylor
Okay, all right well the reason why I wanted to say about the uh how did I become a trauma and resilience coach but I had to take you back. Yeah my mother, yeah and then I end up marrying my husband which, which suffers from a depression as well and he was diagnosed prior to uh he was diagnosed with Purina schizophrenia as well so he ended up being a a circle. Yeah how, how did I overcome all that? Yeah I had to go to my core.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
And that’s what’s important for us to realize when you have suffered from traumatic experiences in your life then that becomes your testimony for so many others.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
Yeah so when I said to myself who am I, I am a person of resilience. I served my country and now I am going to take that torch and run with it because trauma I can tell you all about it and I can tell you about resilience because I had a grandmother that was no nonsense and she was an entrepreneur as well. So I had two women of different eras in their life but they were able to show me the way. One side was trauma resilience and then looking at me now I’m a third generation Widow.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Wait, wait, wait you said third generation Widow?

Valessa L Taylor
Yes, my mother lost her husband, my grandmother lost her husband, I lost my husband so I’m a third generation Widow.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
What’s all that goes into resilience so how am I going to deal with all of that? Well the first thing I did was I look myself in the mirror and I, I knew that I had some things that was trouble in my heart and I went to painter paper and I wrote my journey of my story of raped the silencer now. I wanted to get more educated about um trauma resents so I end up becoming the expert at it. Number one is my life experiences but I went to Florida State University and got my certification.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
That was easy for me to get that certification because a lot of those, those trainings and everything that I received it really taught me what I had gone through. So getting that um certification it, it allowed me to have comfort within my soul.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
And it made me feel better and I’ve always served, I served 22 years in the United States Air Force. How do I want to serve again where I want to serve by sharing my story to the world of resiliency and how you can overcome that trauma.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
Which I had that I, I that was 33 years of having that trauma so I had to release it.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, now explain to us what you mean by your core.

Valessa L Taylor
Okay, look at the right above your belly button, that’s the core area.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yeah.

Valessa L Taylor
And that’s what I always so go back to that area, that’s where your strength is.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
It’s an analogy but also it goes into your thinking process, going into your core, loving yourself from the inside out. Well how are you gonna do that? You’re gonna have that Core Power to do that, let go of anything that you feel that you’re not worthy of.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
And so then you start one step at a time, Journal that’s your thoughts putting it out there. A lot of times we don’t like to go to the doctor but I believe you can have a holistic approach to Healing.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
And that holistic approach can be journaling. Journaling is so important because now you’re connecting to your core on your thoughts out loud and putting pain to paper.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, all right so uh so now when you’re doing your coaching um do you, what do you do you do group coaching, one-on-one coaching?

Valessa L Taylor
I, I do it just depends on what they want. Now with my, with my one-on-one coaching what I would do is I would do what we call an intake sheet and um to see if we are a good fit because you know a lot of times we need to know if we’re a good fit or not prior to me taking on being their coach. And if the and then I add the numbers up and and we’ll see if we’re a good fit but even though we may not be a good fit I’m still want them to know that I am going to encourage them on certain areas of what I saw on that checklist.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
Now I also give them an at least an hour’s feel because I value their time.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yeah.

Valessa L Taylor
And what I do is from the checklist I pull out some key pain points that they might not even know that they may be suffering from and we go over that into a point where they’re comfortable at.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
Now with the group coaching I love that because I am a person that shares my story, I’m very transparent. I tell them I learn everything from life experiences and here’s what I’m going to share with you. I have been through XYZ on my journey but it did not allow it to stop me and I share some of my stories and I know mostly all of them because they’ve sent me in their pictures, their bios and then they really want to connect and to the core and talk about things what they’re going through. But what I do in my coaching is I pair them up with people that have similar stories.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
Because once you do that and they’re in the room then they can relate. Nothing worse than being in a room where nobody can relate to you and you’re sticking out like a sore thumb so to speak. So with some of the group coaching it’s good to have some people that have been through some stuff but then I still sprinkle a little bit of something a little different or somebody may not have gone through that because it’s good to have a variation of different situations or circumstances that they have gone through.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, all right so in, in, in your coaching what do you see that is most common?

Valessa L Taylor
What I see is most common as far as?

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
I mean as far as their trauma or you know uh or you know what why they’re coming to you.

Valessa L Taylor
The reason why I believe that they’re coming to me because I believe if I they, they can relate to me but also the important thing is that most people do is suffer in silence.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
A lot of them have, have uh are in relationships and to the point where they’re, they’re in a relationship but their past comes, comes to the Forefront.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
And whether it be their husband, their spouse, they, they start going back to their past and putting that forward, bringing that forward.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
And so I tell them when we are in, in, in when we are doing the coaching I said you have to forgive yourself first. Forgiving yourself, that’s one of one of the most powerful things you can ever do is forgive yourself. I tell them that it’s not your fault and I embrace them with love.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
Because a lot of times in relationships people don’t want to be judged, they just want you to literally be like a giant ear to listen. But I do much more than that, I give them tools that they can utilize on their daily walk of what they want to do whether it be journaling, whether it be listen to some meditation or just want to just have their time in a room and just speak powerful affirmations.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
And some are spiritual as well so I can um talk to them on different levels but I do let them know that they are here to not be judged, they’re here to get the support and love their, they need and that’s why I’m there to help them because I’ve been there and like I said I have life experiences.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, so I’m gonna ask you this, there’s my soul, I’m gonna ask you this uh what’s the worst case that, that you’ve seen?

Valessa L Taylor
Well I tell them right out front that I’m not a therapist.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
So I let them know right up front that’s the disclaimer, I’m not a therapist. But what I, one of my worst cases was I found a young lady very defensive when I would ask her questions.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
Because what happened?

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
She came for help.

Valessa L Taylor
Yeah, she came to me for help but she was very defensive and you know to be honest with you a lot of times people are defensive because they know that you’re going to take them there and they know it’s going to be uncomfortable for them.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
So they put up a wall and they give you some attitude but, but what really they’re looking for is someone to really help them but you just have to be a little bit more patient with some of them.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yeah.

Valessa L Taylor
So what are the, the challenges is dealing with individuals they already have an attitude walking through the door, they need the help but they just need someone just to guide them further through the Journey and that’s why I don’t, I don’t mind helping anyone that’s defensive to me because that shows me the range of how I can help. If you’re defensive then how can I use my military techniques, Psychiatry, psychology, I had all of that when I was an instructor.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
How can I use those skill sets to bring something out of them that they truly need to hear? Well I tell them that they are beautiful, I give them love, I hold them and let them know everything is going to be okay.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
Normally when I do that they start to cry and I tell them you are loved, you appreciate it and I got your back.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
I’m so glad you’re here and I let them know that because I told them it is courage to walk through their door.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yeah.

Valessa L Taylor
That’s what it is and I tell them I am so proud if you took that first step although it’s just a baby step, that’s the first leap of faith that carries you further throughout your journey and your walk in life.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, now I know um we talked about the core, your core, you know what your core is and um now uh some of the people, some of your clients um that come to you, I know you also touch on mental illness. When someone comes to you and you see that it is, it’s trauma and they’re having issues or whatever with it but what happens when you see that this has really translated into mental illness so to speak?

Valessa L Taylor
Okay, that goes back to that disclaimer because.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
That’s the intake piece.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
If you, if you, if you have been clinically diagnosed with parental schizophrenia, bipolar, I cannot help you. I am only strictly on a holistic approach.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
And I do not want them to infuse a therapist with a coach.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
A coach.

Valessa L Taylor
Yeah.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
It is, yeah it is two different things. Now when you say holistic um do you go, a lot of people when they hear holistic and by the way um Renita Dixon says love is always the answer.

Valessa L Taylor
You tell him yes, tell her yes.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yes, yes and and uh Maxine Walker says excellent, what you were saying is, is, is excellent.

Valessa L Taylor
Thank you.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
When we talk about holistic a lot of people when they hear the word holistic they’re thinking the whole person including diet, include you know food or whatever. So do when you, when you uh when you uh Renita, Renita’s part of my Toastmasters class, are you counting my Souls?

Valessa L Taylor
I kind of remarry you tonight but anyway.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
And uh uh anyway uh so when we talk about holistic do you go into to that as far as is maybe their habits, their diets are contributing to that, their trauma or not being able to to work through their trauma?

Valessa L Taylor
Oh that’s a great question. So this is where I, I go into it, holistic approaches self-care, that’s just what it is. So when I say go core Mind Body Soul, okay that’s my, that’s my, that’s my business. So it’s, it’s not only my business but it is how I became resilient on my journey. So now I Incorporated the holistic but it’s the self-care approach to who I am. Do you be relentless is my tagline but how did I do that? I went to go for a Mind Body Soul, okay which is turning to be my LLC. Okay, the beauty thing about it, it was faith that got me there. I told anybody faith is what really opened my door, opened my eyes wide to be able to come to be able to become who I am and I it for the listeners out there I want you to start journaling because that is so powerful when you put your thoughts on paper and consistently do that, you’re on your way to self-care and it is a holistic approach to your journey to become better than your yesterday.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, now he said resilience, another question came in it says at a time in this world when it seems that many people cannot handle the smallest of life’s challenges, what advice would you give them?

Valessa L Taylor
Again I would say now some people whoever you believe in I should say that my faith, my heavenly father is who I am today. So what I would tell anybody I love Faith because faith is so wonderful, it will teach you how to become better, keep going, climbing those mountains and faith is so brilliant because it allows you to understand how your past does not have to be your future.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
And to keep going.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
And it’s going to the core of who you are.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
All right, now Renita has a question here, she says, she asks has your work with people led to their healing chronic disease because they’ve healed their emotional issues?

Valessa L Taylor
Well I haven’t, tell her that’s a great question.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
I never thought of it that way.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
But I’m pretty sure it is tapping into all of that.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
That’s a wonderful question, I didn’t even think of it like that but um she’s on to something right there, that’s, that’s powerful, tell her that’s powerful.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
All right.

Valessa L Taylor
Yes.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
You can hear, she can, she can hear it.

Valessa L Taylor
Okay, yes that’s powerful, powerful, I love the question.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
And uh Maxine Walker says I meant I’m mentally trying hard to control myself about my physical health. So what it, what, what advice would you give her?

Valessa L Taylor
She’s trying to control herself about her?

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
She says I’m mentally trying hard to control myself about my physical health.

Valessa L Taylor
Okay, physical health, I see this is so powerful, this is a great question. What’s her name?

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
That was Maxine Walker.

Valessa L Taylor
Okay, Maxine, Maxine girl let me tell you something, you got, you can go get a pen, you can go to get some paper. All I’m gonna give you this, what you need to do start journaling out some things that you want to no longer do and replace that with some things that you know you can do. For one thing that you can do, you can go outside and take a nice long walk and you also can hydrate and drink plenty of water. As you do that the beauty thing about doing it is you putting yourself on a routine schedule. If you walk daily a mile or two and you drink water that’s a hydrating yourself that’s gonna make you feel even better but you gotta consistently do it on a daily basis. Now it’s going to go into okay once I do that now what do I want to eat that can be helpful for me and then you start writing down the things that you’re eating, those habits. I know a lot of times I love Seafood girl and I love the butter so you know what I gotta take away what the foods that are now healthy and replace it with more of the vegetables, the carbs and the, the vegetables, everything that we need that’s going to replenish us and make us feel better. But once you tap into your core girlfriend you own to something, baby steps is what I tell people, it takes baby steps and that little bit what I just gave you I called it a little bit, that’s you on your beginning stages of doing something consistently that can help you.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
And then keeping uh a positive frame of mind uh because I read something and it says you don’t focus on what you don’t want, you focus on what you do want.

Valessa L Taylor
Exactly.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
You know um and uh uh let’s see License for Love Podcast says good evening beautiful people.

Valessa L Taylor
Good evening.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Good evening.

Valessa L Taylor
Good evening License for Love Podcast.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
And Renita Dixon is so, so wonderful when I said I’m using my souls and what she counted, she says no you’re doing a good job doing it.

Valessa L Taylor
Oh I’m doing a good job counting and counting myself.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Oh wow, I know all about that too trust me, I’m doing a good job myself. Valessa, we only have a couple of minutes.

Valessa L Taylor
Okay.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
What do you want to leave my audience with?

Valessa L Taylor
Okay, I want you to know that you are loved and you are appreciated and just because you may have had a bad day today there’s always tomorrow. Tap into your core, that Core Power because you are good enough and you need to understand that Faith opens your door. And another thing you can reach me at TV.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, hopefully this is the one you’re talking about, can you see it? It says uh it’s your website, it says go core mindbodysoul.com, is that where you want?

Valessa L Taylor
Yeah, go for mindbodysoul.com, yes but also they can personally email me directly.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, so hold on let me put that, give me your email and I’ll put that on there.

Valessa L Taylor
Okay, TV.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay.

Valessa L Taylor
TV at velessa ltaylor.com.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
[Music] Okay, so let’s put that on there also, is that right? Can you see Team V at Valessa taylor.com, Valessa ltaylor.com?

Valessa L Taylor
That’s right.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
And they can go to your website and find more about you and hear your speech.

Valessa L Taylor
Yes.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
And all the people who have heard you speak.

Valessa L Taylor
Yes.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
I’m giving you just great wonderful testimonies.

Valessa L Taylor
Absolutely.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So I, I want to really thank you for, for being my guest and you know what I have all these blank journals.

Valessa L Taylor
You’re gonna pick them up now at least one now Dr. J, pick up what uh okay wait a minute, okay I think it might be a page.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay but, but you have encouraged me too.

Valessa L Taylor
Thank you.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
To start journaling.

Valessa L Taylor
I appreciate that, that means a lot.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So I, I, I, I’m so happy that I met you in Houston, as a matter of fact we were roommates.

Valessa L Taylor
Yes.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
I got to know you.

Valessa L Taylor
Yeah.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
And uh and thank you so much for being a guest, you have given us so much value and uh we really appreciate it.

Valessa L Taylor
I appreciate y’all, I love y’all and I love you and we are going to continue our relationship.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Thank you.

Valessa L Taylor
It means a lot Dr. J, it means a lot. I can use some powwows women on my team and on your team too, I’m sure this is, I love it, I love it.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
I love it, thank you good, thank you so much, you have a beautiful blessed rest of you in Dallas so rest of your evening.

Valessa L Taylor
Thank you.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
This has been so great uh with Valessa, we had such a good time in Houston um but whatever happens in Houston stays in Houston so I can’t even tell you everything but, but she’s an amazing, amazing young lady and really go to her website, get in contact with her if you know of anyone who you feel that needs her, if you don’t feel that you need her but I’m sure you know someone who does need her, get in contact with her, give them their contact information. In the meantime remember relations, kinds of relationships and relationships do that and there are all kinds of relationship matters. So I will see, there’s myself maybe about 14, 15. I will see you again next week on Relationship Matters TV. Bye.

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