Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
[Music] yes [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] good morning good afternoon good evening wherever you are in the world it’s Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman with Relationship Matters TV. I hope everyone is having a beautiful morning, afternoon, or evening. Well, um, you know, I’m trying to figure out if I’m going to get on my soapbox, but I’ll just get on it for a minute. Please, people, I’m going to keep saying it, get your vaccinations. My goddaughter just got over COVID, her boyfriend, a friend of hers, and then my business coach both—oh, what do you say—how many, one, two, three, three of them just got over COVID, and I’m looking at them and listening to them talking, I’m thinking, did long COVID set in already? Well, anyway, that’s all I’m going to say. Alrighty, now we—I have so much to talk about, not me, but my guest and I have this conversation, there’s so much to talk about, and I want to get right to it. But let me introduce her just a little bit before I bring her on. Her name is Audrey S. Arby. Now, where am I going to start? She’s a born mystic intuitive, she’s been called the transformation goddess of life, she’s a clairvoyant, she’s an author, she’s an artist, she’s a healer, she’s a wellness advisor, she’s even a vegetarian, which I, you know, want to be one day. I was for maybe 21 days, and then I smelled some fried chicken, and I had a chicken wing, and that was it. But anyway, I’m going to bring her in right now because we have a lot to talk about.

Audrey S. Arby
Hi, thank you for that amazing introduction on this beautiful show. I’m laughing at the chicken wings because I love being vegan vegetarian, I adore it, so thank you.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
You’re welcome. 21 days, and you know what, I lost weight, my head was clearer, you know, all of that, but I said just one, but that was it.

Audrey S. Arby
Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So, Audrey, I want to tell us about yourself, just—I know I said a little bit, but oh wait a minute, people, guess what? Audrey is going to join the octogenarian club in July. What? Welcome to the club!

Audrey S. Arby
Thank you, thank you, I appreciate that, thank you.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
And I would have never known it, Audrey. I looked at your bio, and I saw something about 80-something, 80 this or so, I’m like, what is she talking about? But welcome.

Audrey S. Arby
Thank you, I appreciate that, thank you. It’s exciting.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yes, yes, it is exciting because aging is—it’s not a process, a lot of people think it’s a process, but no, aging is an opportunity.

Audrey S. Arby
I like that.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, so you are a mystic intuitive. Tell me, what is that?

Audrey S. Arby
Okay, I use that language because I’m born this way. People have said, how do I learn it? I am born with a way of thinking and a way of being that’s completely natural to me, so I didn’t know it was anything, okay, because it’s how I am, and I think a certain way. I would speak even as a kid, we didn’t call it metaphysics, and yes, I will be 80 on July 17th, literally, okay, so it’s like all exciting. So when I was younger, it was in the 40s, 19—1940s, this wasn’t language, that was not language that people used, certainly not in the environment that I was raised in, and I would feel things, I would sense things, I would know things that were obvious to me, they still are certain ways, and not everybody got it. And when I began to understand what different words meant, that’s what it is. I am automatically an intuitive because I am, I just am, and a mystic, I think like one, I have that vibration, I’m connected to, call it the infinite, call it the metaverse, call it all of the galaxies, there’s that part of my soul that is connected to all of that. And do I know it at this point in time? I know it. Earlier, I did not, I do now, and I embrace it. Some of us are very con—

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Go ahead, because I just want to ask, when did you know what you know? Were you a kid or a young adult or what?

Audrey S. Arby
Well, when I was a kid, I would sense stuff about people. I’m the firstborn of three, okay, and there were times when I would just see that the way someone was behaving, there was going to be a repercussion that was not what they expected, and it was obvious to me, it was just obvious. And I remember at one point, I was 10, and I saw my mom, my—after me comes my sister and then my brother, and there’s a five-year difference between myself and my brother and less than two between myself and my sister. So I saw my mom, I was right there, saying something to my brother, and I knew, I knew it was going to have a repercussion she didn’t expect. So me, in my zeal to be helpful, healer, I said in my little 10-year-old shy way, and I got invalidated, I got—they got annoyed with me, and they just didn’t want to see it. And that’s when, if it wasn’t clear before, it was clear to me then that I just saw and knew things that were so apparent that other people either didn’t want to see, didn’t want to know, was incapable of knowing at that time. And this isn’t a good, bad, better, worse thing, this is not what that is, it’s that we all have different gifts. It’s like you wouldn’t want to give me some technical thing and say fix it, that’s not what I do. You wouldn’t want to give me a motor and say make it work, that would be a big mistake, okay? But this stuff, I’m a natural. And then when I got older and met other people and we talked, they gave different words and labels to that which I am and what I do. Now there’s like a ton of words and labels that people can use for those like me.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, okay, and you’re also an artist.

Audrey S. Arby
This one, which is a little piece, is called Lacy Labyrinth. My art is called Audrey Ohm Art because I start with an ohm, like when you meditate, art that opens the heart. Because when I paint, before I painted, I was doing it on another medium, I meditate, I lift my energies, I change my frequency, I ask to be guided and to create something of beauty. And sometimes it’s to help love, sometimes it’s to bring in peace, sometimes it’s just let me do something that will help people feel better. And I make—well, when I paint, I make the ohm, and then I make a design, and I’m kind of following, I’m in this zone. And then at a certain point, I start, after that’s done and dry, then I start adding the colors. When it’s a big piece like this, this one’s five feet by four feet, which is big to me because I’m four foot ten. I used to be five foot and a half an inch, I was tall, okay, now I’m four ten, so I’m not so tall even, I think that’s petite. And so to move that kind of canvas is hard for me, and well, it is, it’s, you know, it’s big and all of that. But the smaller ones, I literally turn around when I finish one part, and they somehow and sort of magically come together, and I’m listening, I’m feeling the guidance, and it’s like being in a dance. And when they’re done, I honestly look at them, I wonder who did them.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Really?

Audrey S. Arby
Yeah, I mean, I’m full doing it with source, it’s like a cooperation. And when they’re done, and I can step away from it and actually look at it, I ask, who did this?

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Oh, wow. You paint in oil or?

Audrey S. Arby
No, I used to get sick from oil. Now I understand that oil paint isn’t really oil. No, I use other than that, I use the other medium because it dries faster, so I could do more, okay? I use acrylics, and although I don’t know, maybe I’ll start again when these—these are going into a couple of galleries, and maybe, I don’t know, maybe I’ll look at it. But I’ve been, I’ve gotten used to acrylics, and they all have gemstones in them.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Oh, really?

Audrey S. Arby
Yeah, oh, well, yeah, I kind of hide them, and they all can be looked at in any direction. They’re wired in all four directions, and they change our frequency, they literally change our frequency. A psychoanalyst brought one of my paintings, a smaller one, but one of my paintings, keeps it in her office, and she told me her—I don’t like using real patients—her clients actually feel better when they look at the painting.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Wow, okay, so one more thing, we’re going to go, because, because, because, you know, I want to get to the real juicy part of our conversation.

Audrey S. Arby
Yes.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
But you, okay, so, and you’re also an artist, I’m not, I’m sorry, an author, and I saw you wrote a book called Raising Race Consciousness.

Audrey S. Arby
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
A little bit about that.

Audrey S. Arby
Yeah, well, I—let’s see, this is the cover of the book. I only print on 100% post-consumer paper because I’m very, very ecologically oriented. That’s like seriously expensive to really do that, really mammoth money. So only one of my books is in print, the others are PDF, Kindle, or eBooks. But this is the cover for that. Can you see it? Is it there? Raise it, can—is, do I have it right? Raising Race Consciousness.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Just raise it up a little bit. Okay, I see it, Raising Race Consciousness.

Audrey S. Arby
Okay, Racism, Sexism, and Other Isms. That came about because I get impulsed about what I’m here to do, okay? That’s why mystic intuitive, okay? I don’t sit there and logically figure it out and do—what do they call those? Feasibilities? I don’t do any of that, okay? That’s like foreign to me, and I would get on my nerves, frankly. It’s like, and so it’s not how I operate. And so after I’ve written the first three books, and it was, I felt like it’s time to write another one, and I took a look at the world, and in my own life, I said, okay, we really need to deal with this. So I have been dealing with, I call it black, brown, beige people for over 50 years. I don’t come from that in my biological family. I come from this color, and where I was raised, it was this color. And when I saw people of a brown hue, it wasn’t something, although my family taught me everybody’s equal, and when I started to live it, not everybody appreciated it, and that’s a whole different conversation. And when I went out on my own after college and moved to the city, that means New York, for those of you who wonder what it means, the city means Manhattan, the city, okay? Yes, quote-unquote, not really arrogant, but you know, New Yorker, and I own it. And that’s when my life, like my life began, and I’ve met people of many different—it’s New York—many different colors, many different backgrounds, many different—not as many as now, but many different sexual ways of being, okay? And so for me, none of this is new, none of this is new. So I’ve had black, brown, beige, tan, mixed vibrational energy, color of friends since I’m—let’s see, how old was I when I moved into the city? 23, 23 or 24, give or take, and I’m turning 80. So you go do the math.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Wow.

Audrey S. Arby
Okay, so it isn’t new to me, okay? And when I would see and feel how people were treated and the kind of shifts I had to make in my own mentality to be okay with this, because it wasn’t what I grew up like in the midst of. My own daughter is biracial. Her father had mahogany skin, had because he’s no longer on the earth, and all of that. And I just choose truth, which is what you’ll get from me. Can’t stand, dislike, don’t like, and they have to release judgment, the false concepts that some people can have about this color or that color or this religion or that this or this record, all of that kind of stuff. But they come from here, so it means they like that. Some of it might be true, most of it not so much. And so I thought, okay, so that’s my next book, okay? It was going to be on racism, and then I looked around and I said, woman, we need to expand that. I’m a female. Have I dealt with sexism a lot? Yeah, a lot. Have I dealt with racism? And people have said to me, how could you, a white woman, say anything about racism? What? Listen, this is—

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
What do you know about that?

Audrey S. Arby
Well, because I have made it my lifestyle to get to know people of different colors, I have had to deal with racism, okay? When I was with my ex, which was when I was in my 30s, again, go do the math, it was in our face. And this is New York. Taxis—he was a musician—taxis wouldn’t stop. I had to go—

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yes, he was a drummer.

Audrey S. Arby
He had a cymbal case and whatever. I had to go in the road, flag down the taxi, and I was little. Even five foot and half an inch is relatively small, so I didn’t look threatening. And then I left four foot over ten is even—anyway, so I would flag down the taxi, it would come, he would come out, and now and then, unless I sort of perched my butt in the seat, I learned how to do that, the cab would pull off. So people say, have I dealt with it? Yes, I’ve dealt with it, okay? I’ve been in groups where people were your color or a little darker, a little lighter, and I was this color, and I was sometimes the only one, and I would hear various talk, and I’m part of the community, okay? And some people accepted me because they just go on vibes, and then I’m accepted. And if they just go on outer appearance, there would be whatever there was until it got together. And so I was there with a lot of things.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
All right, okay, so Audrey, I’m going to take a quick commercial, and when we come back, we’re going to have a conversation about sexuality, sensuality, and spirituality.

Audrey S. Arby
Yes.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
All right, okay, we shall be right back. Don’t go away. [Music] And I am so happy that your relationship with your daughter has improved. [Music] Well, we are back, we are back, and I’m going to promote my book, The Secrets to How Not—oops—to Throw Mama from the Train, and that’s how I help you with your mother-daughter coaching, but we’ll get into that a little bit later. So right now, I’m going to go and bring Audrey back in so we can talk about sexuality, sensuality, and spirituality.

Audrey S. Arby
Thank you.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
All right, Audrey, okay, so they’re connected, sexuality, sensuality, and spirituality. They’re connected because when a person truly opens their being, which if you really—okay, sex can simply be on the outside, a physical connection to a physical connection. That’s strictly, in my opinion, okay, so I’ll stop saying in my opinion, that’s strictly a third-dimensional aspect. It’s never only a physical to a physical because what we’re made of is energy, we’re made of light. Even people acting in a way you would not think is light is still light because that’s our essence. We all come from the source, whatever your words are—goddess, God, source, Allah, great spirit, whatever your words are—we all are made of that stuff. So with sexuality, sensuality, spirituality, when you really connect deeply with another person or with your own self, that’s a deep level of intimacy. Now, when you allow yourself to really open your heart and feel, which I recommend strongly, the sexuality starts becoming more the sensuality because there’s more connection. And the spirituality, when you truly open and you really make love and you’re not just using your body, that’s simply the vehicle that is carrying you around on this third-dimensional earth, then you’re connecting truly soul to soul. And when you connect your soul with another person, the lovemaking experience is huge. It’s huge. You can actually, and I’ve had this experience, come out of your body and join into the cosmos where one can almost—for me, it literally happened that I didn’t even realize what I was doing. I was so connected to God, well, God, whatever your words are. So sexuality, sensuality, spirituality, to really be able to enjoy it on the deepest levels, it’s important to love yourself. You don’t have to think you’re perfect. Let go of that, okay? I’m turning 80. This body does not look how it looked when I was 18 or 25 or 60 or even 70. I’m still cute, okay? So you can redefine that—cute, pretty, beautiful, stunning—redefine your conception of beauty because beauty is so many different ways. And if you start really loving yourself—that’s my first course, Morph into the Magic of Self-Love, Soul Essence Self, and Ego Personality Self—it’s all-encompassing. Then when you connect with somebody or yourself, if you’re solo, and if you are solo, make peace with yourself so you can have self-pleasure because there’s no reason to deny yourself this experience. One of my experts, when I was writing Sexuality, Sensuality, and Spirituality, she said that a woman needs, requires a minimum of three orgasms a week to maintain a vivaciousness. A guy requires 20 a month to keep his prostate healthy. How she got those figures, I don’t know. I make those figures up, right? I wasn’t used to trans—I don’t have that.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, okay, so let me go back to self-love. So many women, especially—I don’t know about men—but so many women, especially when you start talking about sexuality, sensuality, they have an issue with self-love because they might feel that, you know, my body, especially when you get older—

Audrey S. Arby
Yeah.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
—where, you know, you don’t think your body looks right, you know, you want to have sex in the dark, or they don’t feel sensual because, you know, maybe their body image or something like that or just what’s in their head. How do you go about really having that self-love so that you can experience what you’re talking about?

Audrey S. Arby
Okay, first, I can’t contribute orgasms.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yes, yes.

Audrey S. Arby
Well, I can’t condense a six-week course into two minutes, but I can say—

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
No, no, we have time. No, we have time. We have a good 20 minutes.

Audrey S. Arby
All right, so I’m going to start with this. If you—everyone is made of light, what is there not to love? Okay, that’s number one. If you are a piece of the creator—piece of the creator, P-I-E-C-E of the creator in a human form—there’s nothing not to love. What gets in the way is ego. What gets in the way is conditioning. What gets in the way is something I called genetic karmic patterning, which is we inherit from our parents not only our physical looks, we can connect, we can inherit some of their issues, any of that stuff without it being taught. And there are ways, and I teach them, to start releasing them. Otherwise, we just drag it all along and along. So one, nobody that I know of is going to look the same at 18 as they look at 80 or 84. Now, I don’t know about having plastic surgery every which way and all this. I, um, you know, you could have some emerge—I had breast reduction when I was, um, 17. Ten pounds, ten pounds of breast was released from my little fella, five-foot-one-inch body, because I was humongous, okay? I asked them to put it on my derriere, they didn’t know how, they thought I was crazy. Now it’s the Brazilian butt lift, that’s a separate thing. So make peace with how you look. Make peace with how you look. Every morning, and this could be really challenging, this next thing I’m going to say, I resisted this like crazy. Every morning, look at yourself naked in the mirror, even if you have to look at a little piece at first, and say, you’re beautiful. I am beautiful. You, to the one in the mirror, you are gorgeous, you are sexy, you are lovely, you are loved, you are deserving, and take it in. When I do it now, and I don’t do it every morning, and I go, you are sexy, I do laugh. It’s true. And I say to that image that I see in the mirror, which is the image of this person without clothing on, and that’s what sexy looks like on you now. So embrace it. Find something about yourself. You might have wonderfully smooth, soft skin. Embrace that. You might keep your nails gorgeously. You might have whatever it is on your body. I’m not going to start naming everything. See, okay, see, and these break, so it’s like whatever. Gorgeous. So you look at whatever that is, and then it’s important to be healthy, whatever healthy might be for you. Yes, I am a long-time vegetarian. I am. I have been vegetarian. I started and stopped and started and stopped, but since I was 31, okay, so you go figure that out. It’s almost 49 years now, whatever it is, 32, but whatever, okay? I’m mostly raw vegan now, not totally, mostly a lot. So you need to be healthy, whatever that is, and that’s a journey. Don’t think, oh, I’ve been eating standard American diet, whatever that might be for you. Now I’m going to be vegetarian. I’ll do it overnight. No, you won’t. Don’t even try, because whatever one’s body is, that chemistry is used to whatever that is. So it’s bit by bit by bit by bit by bit, because the body will not accommodate overnight. It’s a shock. Like if somebody attempts it and then eats chicken wings and then gets caught up in chicken wings because they haven’t been vegetarian long enough to really have that be part of their energy.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Talking about me.

Audrey S. Arby
So it takes a moment. I still, now and then, at whole—I don’t—I still eat a little bit of mac and cheese. I don’t have it in the house. I don’t want it in the house. When I go to Whole Foods, I get a little bit, and I bless it, and I eat some of it. I don’t eat like a ton of it. My body would go, what did you do to me? And all of this kind of thing. But it isn’t about depriving yourself. Forget that. It’s not about depriving yourself. It’s about rewarding yourself. I make delicious food. I make chocolate stuff. I make raw vegan organic chocolate stuff that’s delicious, and I make one that’s high in protein because I make like a mousse or, um, I call it mustard instead of custard, made with nuts, and the smoothest, creamiest one is with cashews. I have a book with that too, then Bigger Vitality Vegan, and—

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, wait, I have a cover. Do I have a cover?

Audrey S. Arby
Yeah, this one.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So what if you are lactose intolerant? Can you have that, what you’re talking about?

Audrey S. Arby
Yeah, I don’t use milk.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
You don’t use milk or butter or—

Audrey S. Arby
No, you don’t lose—you don’t use dairy.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Really?

Audrey S. Arby
Oh, oh, okay. It’s rare that I have cheese. I use vegan cheese, okay? And it took a while. That’s what I said. It’s not overnight. I never thought I would get to be vegan. I never thought I would ever be at all raw vegan. It was like, oh my gosh. And I’m not saying total. I do eat oils, and some people would say it’s not raw vegan. I do still eat nut butters. I like them. I make sauces and things and whatnot out of them. I make my own chips, so let me add crackers. I make my own chocolate cookies. Oh, I need the book.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So let me ask you a question now. Does your health have to do with sensuality?

Audrey S. Arby
Yes. The healthier you are and the more you love yourself, the more you give yourself permission to have sex. And by the way, in case somebody wants to know, will your desire to have a sexual essential connection continue through life? Mine has, okay? If you’re not healthy or you don’t love yourself, you want to hide your body. And I still have to make peace, okay? Then most people are not going to allow it to themselves. They will punish themselves. And if somebody doesn’t do something to keep themselves flexible, it’s different for everyone, okay? I live in Florida, so I have warmth. I don’t have freezing cold winters. I left that, okay? So you do a morning walk. If you can’t walk—I’m from New York, I can walk, okay? Then you do something while you’re sitting. You do something. Do yoga. One of the best yoga teachers—oh, let me think if I remember her name—on the internet, okay? And if you’re watching this, you got the internet, is Fightmaster Yoga, okay? I don’t get—

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
S-P-I-K-E?

Audrey S. Arby
No, I don’t. That’s a husband’s last name. It’s really weird. Fightmaster, F-I-G-H-T-M-A-S-T-E-R. She’s on YouTube. If you go Fightmaster Yoga, 15 minutes, you will get things you can choose. She’s got classes. She’s got stuff for beginners. I’m not a beginner. Well, I haven’t done it in a while, so I don’t know what I am right now, but I’m not a beginner. But she has stuff for beginners. She might even have chair yoga. I don’t know because I don’t do chair yoga. I do yoga yoga and all that. Start with move your hand. I mean, move your arm. Do something. Do—I mean, do something. Get yourself moving because if you don’t, then you atrophy. We all do. You know, if you—what is that? Use it or lose it. So move your head to the side. Move your head gently, slowly in a circle. Don’t do it quickly. You don’t want to get dizzy. And if you have any issues with the neck, you don’t want to do it quickly because you don’t want to hurt yourself. This is not the fastest, the quickest is the winner. No, no. Do it in flow. This is the goddess energy vibration. This is not patriarchal, hurry, first. No, no.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So what works—oh, go ahead. I’m sorry. Go ahead.

Audrey S. Arby
No, I was going to say, but that’s not how real growth works, okay? Process. If you’re sick of the word process and never love like that, allow it to happen. It’s more about allowing.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So now we’re talking all about this. What about a person who has low self-esteem when it comes to joining all that together, the sexuality, the sensuality, and the spirituality?

Audrey S. Arby
So some—I have had—I have low self-esteem for eons, eons and eons and eons. That’s a whole thing in and of itself. So when someone has low self-esteem, you have—the person has to ask themselves, really, why don’t I love myself? What do I hate about myself? What do I think is so horrible about myself? Is it my body? Is it my mind? I mean, I was told growing up at a certain point that I was fat and disgusting and no one would ever love me, and that’s not a good builder for self-esteem, let me tell you, and all of that kind of stuff. So you have to start looking at that and then just simply using logic, and I’m an energy healer, so I go way beyond logic. Is it true? Not true. First of all, fat and disgusting and no one will ever love you, just to pull something out of my own past, people can be whatever size they are and keep themselves healthy, and they’re beautiful. I have been with certain cultures where women were bigger and had lovely clothing and beautiful how they did their hair and with certain jewelry because that’s how they adorned themselves and walked with pride. They were stunning. They were stately. They were fabulous. So it’s also in your head. So if you really have low self-esteem, you can decide, literally make a choice. Do you want to keep that? Is it helping you? Is it moving you forward? Does it feel good? It does not feel good. It dampens your vibration. So you can decide, use your head if you choose, or your heart, better yet, that you would like to feel good, even if you don’t know what that feels like because you maybe have said, I’ve never felt it. So then you can use simple little affirmation. I love myself. And at first, you may think that sounds like BS, okay? So you look in the mirror, find something you love, your eyelash, okay? A tooth, okay? Something, okay? The way you smile at someone, and you look in the mirror, and you go, I love myself.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, well, that’s one way of—yeah, when you have no self-esteem, is that you have to keep saying that, saying that to yourself over and over and over and over and over again because then it becomes natural, and then—and what happens is you believe it. So definition—what is the definition of sensuality? What is the definition?

Audrey S. Arby
That’s a really good question. So what the guides say, sensuality is really being able to feel the experience of being alive. It’s being able to be outside and feel the [Music] and take it in and go, ah. That’s part of sensuality. Sensuality is being able to happen to like cats, be able to stroke a cat, or if you like a dog, okay, or a parrot or whatever you like, stroke a cat and feel the fur and go, ah.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So with a person?

Audrey S. Arby
With a person, or with your own self, because some women and men are alone, okay? I don’t have a mate right now, and you appreciate what you are. You appreciate that you have nice skin. You appreciate you’re sitting on a soft sofa. You appreciate that the grass is nice near you. So when you say you’re going to have a sexual experience with a mate, with yourself, with however you’re doing it, rather than it’s just this physical thing, which first of all has never been my thing, but some people really like that. For me, it never worked, okay? You feel. Touch your partner softly. Don’t grab, okay? Build up to the passion, and then as you build up and your breath starts changing because you are building up, and you let your partner touch you, and you don’t say to yourself—this is what you do not—I’m fat, I’m ugly. No. You let yourself feel the experience. What you may think about you is not necessarily what your partner feels about you, okay? They may love every aspect of who you are. I know some people that go, my butt is too big, my this is too that, and others, I want a butt like that. So you don’t know. You have your own preconceptions of what it may be that if they’re not positive, you’re shifting. I’m telling you, when I look in the mirror naked and I go, you’re beautiful, I do laugh because this body is not perfect, let me assure you of that. Doesn’t mean that I don’t have whatever I have, but no, it’s what it is, and in that, it’s perfect that it is. So with sensuality, you let yourself feel. You let yourself feel his or her touch of whatever your partner is, whatever your choices, whatever your thing is. You let yourself feel. You relax with it. You’ll give yourself up to it, which means you have to trust this person. You have to trust yourself because you’re opening your being. You’re opening your flower portal. Do I have to say what the flower portal is? Okay, so you’re opening your flower portal. This is precious. No, this is a precious treasure that you are allowing—

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So I got a question right here. So we’re talking about the flower. I like that word. Okay, what about men? Do you think it’s harder for men to experience what you’re talking about?

Audrey S. Arby
I think it really depends on the man because some men are so goal-oriented, that’s all they can think. They want to go from here to there. They usually make horrible lovers if that’s all they want, okay? That’s not fun, okay? It isn’t. Women generally need to build up, some a little slower, some a little faster. It isn’t usually, okay, that’s it, okay? We want—they call it foreplay, okay? It’s part of the whole loving experience, for heaven’s sakes. It’s part of the whole banquet. But some men are sensual. Some, no, they don’t know how to touch. They don’t—when I’m at the gym—yes, I go to the gym, and so I do. And so when I’m at the gym, before COVID, not now, okay? So before COVID, when people actually would stand near each other and all of this kind of thing, so pre-COVID, I can tell when someone—they’ll touch your hand, not sexual touch, okay? Just touch your hand to buy your show. I know immediately, because I am what I am, okay, whether they have a sensual aspect to them. And some, you know right away, some, it’s just not there. They either have to be taught by someone with patience, and then they could learn. Some people don’t know. You don’t just grab somebody. Look, that hurts. You don’t just grab like that. That’s not—it’s not fun, okay? You start—most women want to be touched softly at first, not like dead. Nobody wants to be touched like you’re dead. That’s really gross and disgusting. I’m sorry, it is. But with the gentleness, with the softness, with the lovingness, it’s like you take your heart, you take a piece of your soul, and you put it in your touch. You simply do that. If you want to know how to turn someone on, that’s a good way to do it, by the way. And with your own self, if you want to perceive this, you allow that. Decide that anyone you’re going to be in bed with, whomever that person may be, you need to trust them. You need to trust that if you say no at a certain point in whatever you’re doing, they’re going to stop. You need to trust if you say yes, that they’ll go on with it. You need to trust if you say, oh, that feels really good, more of that, they’re going to give you some more of that and not move on when you’re just getting in the mood, okay? And that’s developed. It’s process. It isn’t just automatic. Although, yes, yes, with some people, the chemistry is just so lovely, it flows nicely. That’s really lovely. It’s not like that with everybody, and sometimes it takes experience.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Can you teach someone, male or female, to be sensual?

Audrey S. Arby
I don’t really teach that per se in the course. The courses—no, I mean, can I literally have someone determined? But, you know, women, man, let’s say it’s a sensual man, and he’s got a woman who’s not, or vice versa. Can that be taught? Yes, and I could help teach that. It’s not per se in the course, a little bit, okay? That’s not true. There’s some in the course. There really is, okay, now that I think about what’s in the course. But yeah, that can be taught, absolutely. There’s no such thing, in my opinion, as—there used to be an expression, I don’t think they use it now because now we have a huge range of words for sexuality, asexual, pansexual, tons of words, okay? But there used to be a term, frigid, and it was usually used by men towards a woman because she didn’t come in two seconds flat the way he wanted her to come. You’re frigid, okay? They usually didn’t know how to touch her. They didn’t know how to connect with her. They didn’t know what her spots were. She may not have known what her spots were because there was a time, still exists for some people, that they couldn’t even say body parts. They’d say down there, went down there, okay? And that was all they could say. Well, it’s not really called down there. There’s actual words, but that would be all somebody knew how to say. But can it be taught? Yes, absolutely. I could even help with that. No, I’m not going to give you practical—I’m not—no, I’m not going to do that. But it can be taught, most definitely.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, so now, so we talked about sexuality and sensuality, and I like the way that you join those two together because I think most of the time people look at that as something as separate, you know what I mean? So now let’s go into the spirituality part because I don’t think, at least I—me anyway, I don’t know about other people—I never really put all of that together, really, when it comes to spirituality. So you’re saying all of that is connected. I mean, it can be connected, not always for people.

Audrey S. Arby
Yes, not always.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
But how do you connect all of that? How do you—especially the spirituality part.

Audrey S. Arby
Okay, so when you look at what really is spirituality, is it reading something in a book so you learned a few phrases? Is it going to a place where somebody says a few things? That could all help. Real, to me, okay, real spirituality is having some kind of experience of knowing the creator by whatever words or names you want to call it, him, or it. And to me, not of him, by the way, it’s, um, no, no, because it’s all of us. How would a male know how to make a female? They wouldn’t. They wouldn’t have, okay? Separate conversation, okay? So spirituality is—there’s many ways, but for many of us, it’s literally having an experience of touching the infinite, touching or having an experience that could be ineffable, that you don’t have words for. And many of us have words. I’ve got a lot of words, but certain things, there are no words for. Well, when you are really making love with your whole being, your heart, your mind, your soul, your spirit, with somebody else who hopefully is also doing that with you, and you know how to connect, there are times—there are times when the energy gets so high, and I am not talking about substances here, that you literally touch the cosmos. When people orgasm, when people come, what do most people say? They say, oh God, they say something like that. They could also say their partner’s name, or if they’re solo, which with some older women, some of us are solo, and younger, and whatever, okay, and in between. But that’s part of what it is. And because I literally, personally, and this was before my daughter was born, had an experience—this is for real—when I was with my former spouse, and I went to such a space that I connected with the infinite. I didn’t even know where I was. I did not even know what I was doing. I was literally in a bliss vibration, fully connected to it. And I said to God, I said, you can take me now.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Oh, sad.

Audrey S. Arby
Because I didn’t think I could ever feel anything higher than that. And then as we were completing what we were doing, I rediscovered that I was making love, and I thought, oh, that’s what—and we had a good connection, okay? But this, this was woo. And as we came down, I said, oh, I was making love. And then he said to me, where did you go? And I looked at him, and I said, weren’t you there? What? I knew, but I never did. And he’s gone from the earth now. He left very young. He passed at 47. Anyway, cancer, lung cancer. Anyway, I never asked him, why did you ask, where did I go? What was your experience of me? That would have been nice for me to know because I was—I was in bliss. So I know there’s a connection because I had—and that was huge. You’ve heard the term peak experience. That was a peak experience.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Actually, we all—I think we all want that. Oh, you’re amazing. So I want to ask this question briefly. I’ve heard of tantric.

Audrey S. Arby
Yeah.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Is that what—so is that something that—and for all who need, y’all need to look that up. But is that the same thing that you’re talking about with—

Audrey S. Arby
No, no. There’s tantric sex, there’s tantric yoga, there’s this kind of sex where—did I do—I was with this Buddhist master in my ex, and we were doing—anyway, it’s a way of certain sex to do. Some of it you do very slowly and not let the guy orgasm right away, so he builds up the energy because some people believe, and I’m not going to get into a debate on this, that a man comes, he uses up his energy, and he can, using the life force, all of that kind of thing. So you do it more slowly and all that, so he brings the energy back up. It’s like raising the kundalini, okay? And that’s part of what that is. There’s a yoga that does that, so it shifts consciousness and it shifts frequency. What I’m talking about is somewhat different than that, and all of it has a place. I mean, I feel that if one chooses to explore, check it out, see what it’s like for you. He didn’t like that, okay? Okay, I liked how it felt with him, on the other hand, and then he would have his orgasm after. On the other hand, when I attempted to do it and hold the orgasm off, I didn’t come, okay? I did not like that.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
You know, Dayday says, I wish I could have that special man who can help me connect spiritually as well as physically. I don’t think I ever had that. But guess what, Dayday? That’s somebody here right now. You can go to audreynow.com and find out—or wait a minute, no, the better one is this one.

Audrey S. Arby
Yes, that’s the course.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Audreynow.com/six.

Audrey S. Arby
Yes, thank you. That’s the URL for the course. The whole name of the course is Sexuality, Sensuality, Spirituality, Stupendous Sex, Your Intimacy, Healing, Exuberance Course. So in that course, I say we, because me and the guides and all that, all of us talk about what sex is, certain things that need to be healed because there have been people that have been abused, there have been people that have been raped, as stuff, okay? So without my going through a list of what not and hoo-ha and yes, okay, so you understand. I’ve experienced some of that stuff myself and have healed it with help. And then there are people who have partners that were not so great, so we have to release that junk from ourselves because when you make love with somebody, that energy sits in the body. You have to release that so you could stay open and available. It’s a process called recapitulation that I teach in that course, also in the morph course. Then some people, some women who have had a C-section have felt that they were robbed of the experience of giving birth because they didn’t want a C-section. It wasn’t a required C-section, so we have ways to heal from that. There’s a part in the course where some people go, well, I’m older now, and everything doesn’t work the same, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. How do I get the juices flowing again? We have that in the course also. And then, yes, there is some stuff in the course about how to get some of your sensuality moving again.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Wow. So, Audrey, in a couple of—well, no, in one minute, what is the last thing that you would like to leave my audience with, something they can take away with them?

Audrey S. Arby
Whoever you are, in whatever your special way, you are unique. There is no one, never will be, never was like you. Embrace all your gifts, your beauty, celebrate it, love yourself, and the stuff that’s kind of like this, you work on it. Take the morph course, take the sex course, get a session. Don’t sit in junk. You don’t need to. You don’t need to. Embrace the beauty that is you, and then it grows.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, all right. I love that. I really love that. Audrey, all I have to say is thank you, and I know with all the comments that I put up, I know that you have really given a lot of value, valuable information and insight into what sexuality—how to connect sexuality, sensuality, and spirituality. I want to thank you so much. Comments are still coming in. Maxine says she loves your energy.

Audrey S. Arby
Thank you, thank you, Jan. Thank you. It’s a privilege to be here. I feel very honored. Thank you so very much and extremely grateful, truly.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Thank you so much, and thank you. Thank you. We’ll have to have you back.

Audrey S. Arby
Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
All right, you take care. Have a beautiful, blessed rest of—well, you’re in New York—no, you’re in Florida, so beautiful, blessed rest of your evening.

Audrey S. Arby
Thank you, you also.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Alrighty, okay, bye-bye. Wow, this was really great. This was really great. She really put some stuff on my mind, okay? I hope she put some stuff on your mind. Alrighty, I want to thank all of you for tuning in, listening, and you can always still go on my site, relationshipmatterstv.com, or just to me, and if you got any more questions, I know that Audrey would be so happy to ask these questions. So, all right, please have her back soon. I will. This was really great. Thank you. They said she enjoyed you. Thank you. So tune in again next week. You know, I told you last week—no, week before last, because last week was an encore—that I was going to have a special guest, and I wasn’t going to tell you, but I’m not going to tell you even about it next week. So, but make sure that you come back to Relationship Matters TV because guess what? There are all kinds of relationships, and there are all kinds of relationship matters. All right, see you again next week. [Music]