Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
[Music] so [Music] yes [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] good morning good afternoon good evening wherever you are in the world it’s Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman with Relationship Matters TV. I hope everyone is having a beautiful, beautiful day. Um, I’m here in Chicago and we don’t know if it’s summer, fall, winter, or spring. The other day it went down to the 30s and in a couple of days it’s supposed to be 80. So we don’t know. I take my winter coat, put it on, then take it off, and then go outside and then have a sweater on, but then before I can get back in the house I gotta put my winter coat back on. So we don’t know what’s going on, but anyway, we are all happy to be here. Uh, you know I always start off, I’m on my platform and uh, what’s happening, COVID numbers are rising. It’s some kind of strand, 2B, 1, 2.3, 4 point whatever, but people wear your mask. I know we’re tired of it. I know we want to hug people and we want to kiss people and we want to go to concerts and be in big crowds. We want to do all of that, but what’s happening because we’re doing all of that, what they’re saying is that there’s going to be a surge in the summer. Wear your mask, get your vaccines, be safe out there because I don’t want any of you out there to come down with COVID. Well, this is a few days before Mother’s Day and I wanted to do a show focusing on the relationships that we have with our moms and so I’m going to play a little video first then I’m going to introduce our guest. So this is the little video, I hope it comes out right [Music] Jesse and Janice. Okay, Jessie, Jessie May Travis, uh, was my mom. She passed in 2017 and as you can see we kind of look alike. People say we act alike, talk alike, whatever, you know, have the same kind of personality, but that’s just me. Anyway, I want to bring my guest on but let me tell you a little bit about her before I bring her on. Her name is Evelyn T. Wayne. So let me tell you a little bit about Evelyn. She’s a board-certified instructor of hypnotherapy, she’s a certified hypnotherapist for chronic diseases, a board-certified NLP trainer, board-certified master coach, certified biofeedback practitioner, certified sports performance specialist, I’m getting tongue-tied, certified weight loss specialist, smoking cessation specialist, certified pain management specialist, a mastermind success facilitator for the Enneagram healing practitioner, and she’s very empathetic and intuitive. You know what, uh, when I grow up I want to be just like Evelyn.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Well, thank you. Good, thank you. Thanks for having me.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Oh yes, it’s so good to finally meet you. We had scheduled Evelyn and all kinds of things happening to Evelyn, happening to me, it’s happening, but we are so excited to have Evelyn on today and as I said, we’re going to talk about the relationships with our mothers. But first, Evelyn, your background is so interesting. Tell us about your background, tell us who you are. We know what you do, but who you?

Evelyn T. Wayne
Well, I am Evelyn Wayne and thank you for having me, Dr. Janice. Um, I grew up in, I was born in Taiwan, so my family was, we moved to Guam, the island of Guam when I was seven. So the reason that we went there is my parents wanted us to just learn different things other than just staying in [Music] Taiwan. So we moved to Guam and I was there for about nine, ten years and then when I was 16, that’s when our whole family moved to California. And as soon as we got to California, I went to high school with the last two years of high school. I started working and because I’m always very curious about different things, you know, people and things, so I started going to apply for different jobs and I did go to school but my most, my interest is more about experience, learning things, hands-on experience. So after I went to, trying to remember my history, when I just went to different places of employment to get different types of experience and in the 90s, I went to attend the Germanological School of America. I learned about gemstones and also learned about how to set stones and looking at the beautiful grading, beautiful stones, and I went there for a year. After that, I ended up working at corporate and working with different corporations. I landed a company that manufactured mechanical switches, so I was working with actually military projects and learned a lot of things about government operation and military. So after that, I ventured, when I was, um, I left that job, I started working at the Camarillo State Hospital and that was really where I really enjoyed the job working with the clients there and sparked even more my curiosity on human behavior. And I worked there until the hospital closed and after the hospital closed, I was looking for jobs and I met my partner, my current partner, and we both decided to go to hypnotherapy school. And at that time, I was, um, you know, working on a relationship with my mother and I thought why not go to the school, learn the tools to help others and also be helping me. And, um, and that’s what I did. I worked with my mentor at school and worked with different personal development coaches and I transformed my relationship with my mother from a relationship that was really, um, it wasn’t, I did not have a very close relationship with my mother. So after I did all the work, that’s when I have this huge transformation and it definitely transformed me, it transformed her, it transformed our relationship and it also transformed our family relationship with my siblings.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So when you say, um, that you didn’t have, you know, the closest relationship with your mom, so when did that start? Did that start, you know, when you were a little girl, when you were extremely adventurous, uh, you know, when did it start and tell me some of the things that happened because a lot of times as a kid, kind of, you know, we really don’t know what the relationship with our moms is supposed to be like, right? So, so tell me, tell us about it.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yeah, with, um, growing up in a strict Asian culture family, so it’s, there’s a lot of competitions where my parents, you know, I’m, I’m the second oldest and second child, so I have three other siblings. So my oldest sister is a valedictorian, she did well in school, she loves school, and I am the opposite. I just wanted to go out there and experience and, um, so didn’t really have good grades when I was younger, but I do see the preference of, of, you know, treating my sister one way and the way that they were treating me and I started noticing that and also noticing, wow, I, I get in trouble a lot, you know, so, so that was the, yeah, it can go back really, really young. And when I was younger, I did, I grew up with my grandmother, so they, she had me go and stay with my grandma, my mom had me stay with my grandmother for a few years and then I, then I moved back home with the entire family. So I think around that time, I just noticed that, um, you know, it’s more about the comparison, it’s more about your sister’s doing this and you’re not, you know, your sister has long hair, you don’t have it, but just little things like that where, um, and at that time, I, it didn’t really affect me so much, you know, I didn’t realize it until I was older. So, um, but that was many, many different incidences of the comparison. That’s really, really the big, you know, the big factor, I mean, feeling a little bit about, you know, feeling like an outsider.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, yeah, oh yeah, because my siblings, I, I have one brother, so in Asian culture, the, the son is, you know, the golden child, so he’s already praying very common and then I have my younger sister, she’s the youngest, so there’s this, you know, the, the sibling, you know, I am the second oldest, so the middle child, it’s kind of where I pretty much have more of an independent and individual mind, which I want to experience more compared to my siblings.

Evelyn T. Wayne
And, and that’s something that, uh, parents, a lot of parents don’t realize, uh, and mothers, mothers and fathers really, is that kids, you can pick up when, let’s say, a sibling is more favored, you know, and even though a lot of moms will say, oh, you know, I treat all my, my children like, you know, they’re all like, but not really, right? Moms, when we think about it, there is, if you have more than one child or let, you know, you have a few, uh, there is that one child, yeah, that you kind of lean towards a little more. And the thing is, the, the child that, not the one, so to speak, really, really knows that and it affects, uh, it affects us. And I say us because, uh, my brother, like you said, got the, the family, yeah, he could do no wrong, right? And you don’t know that when you’re, when you’re young, you don’t know how it affects you, but as you get older, then you look back and it does affect you. So that’s when you were young. So what, what was it the same, you know, as, uh, you became an adult?

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yeah, especially when we moved to Guam, I was seven, you know, getting, um, to eight, between seven and eight, and going to Guam is different territory, it’s US, you know, so it’s not Taiwan anymore. So in my mind was, wow, we could do whatever we wanted to do, supposedly. And then it was more about, I wanted to explore more, I had more, I have a lot of friends at a different background and nationalities, and, um, that’s how I started just experiencing different cultures. And, but my sister, my older sister, she’s, you know, she stayed with the Asian friends, um, so I was more stepping out and I noticed that too, it’s stepping out of the family dynamic and it’s my mom is hooking me back in, it’s like, okay, you know, you’re, you’re kind of stepping out of the line, so you have to come back in. So there’s a lot of that, I was, you know, 14, 15, 16, of course, I was partying and doing different things with my friends. And so, um, and I do remember my, my dad, when he, at that time, he was still around, um, he was alive and he would say, why are you so different than the rest of us? And at that time, it didn’t feel good, but now that I remember, you know, what he said, I can embrace that because, you know, that, that really, uh, promoted my individuality. So at that time, I didn’t know that, at that time was more about I didn’t belong, you know, there was something, something wrong. So, and when I was six, when I turned 16, my whole family moved to California and my sister was going to UCI first year. So, and then when we went to California, I was like, wow, that’s California. So here, you know, I’m already free there and at Guam’s a little bit of freedom and now we’re in California and it was, I wanted to do more. So I started working, I started working at my first job was at Del Taco. So I was 16, I worked at Del Taco and my, my, my mom was very against it. She wanted me to go to school, study, you know, couldn’t graduate from high school, go to college, but I just didn’t want to do that. So when I was 19, I moved out and that was when the whole transition, um, it escalated the, you know, the, the chaotic relationship that we had. So because I end up doing, I always, always wanted to do something for myself. So during that time, my parents were living in Taiwan. So, um, weekly we’ll have a call, you know, follow up. And so most of my calls is telling me what I did not do, you know, and what didn’t I do right. So it’s just kind of all these emotions and just keep piling up and it was, it was very, very difficult for me to even speak to them in a very…

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
You were estranged, uh, for a while, but you, you still kept, you know, uh, like you said, your, your, uh, calls with your mom.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yeah, it was more of a, in my perspective, it was more of an obligation, you know, because if I didn’t call one week, I’ll hear about it the next week. So it was one of those words like I’m obligated to call just to say hello and, but it, it just really separated us even more so because there’s a repeat of telling me how bad I was and I didn’t do this, I think that because according to their book, right?

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
It’s a difference, you know, in generations, it’s, you know, uh, one generation sees something one way and, uh, often what happens is our moms, our parents, uh, want for their children, they want the same things for their children, uh, but, and as far as your sister was concerned, um, I don’t know if your parents had, um, advanced degrees or anything, but then what they saw in your sister was that she was doing something that they wanted her to do, they weren’t able to do it, right? And, and parents often, uh, don’t listen to what the child wants.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yeah.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Because they feel that what they think is best for the child, you know, is where that child should go because so there, there are those different points of view. Um, I saw something on TV today and it was, uh, one of the movie stars and she was talking about raising her kids and she says, well, you know, um, I, I let them be independent and I let them think differently and she says if they’re standing up on the couch and they want to jump off the couch, which is using that as an example, she’ll say to them, well, you know, if you jump, you probably are going to hurt yourself, but then she goes and she lets them jump, you know, so I can understand, uh, the difference when you are not, uh, like your mom wants you to be and it’s usually because she feels that what she wants for you is best for you.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Right, yeah, it comes from that.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yeah, I know, uh, I was a little bit like you, just, you know, just doing things like I wanted to do them and sometimes it seemed, you know, um, because I was in education, um, oh, you need to be an administrator, um, you know, in a school, you need to be a principal. I’m like, I don’t want to be, I don’t know what you need to be, but no, I don’t want to be, you know, and so there was that little, uh, I guess we would, we would bump heads unlocking, but we bumped heads especially on that and my career, um, so, so to speak. So as you, uh, got to be an adult, what I want to do is talk about why, well, not why you decided to mend the relationship, but when did you make up your mind that you really had to do something about this relationship? You really, you know, had to change it.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yeah, it was, um, it’s actually when my dad passed, when he passed away, um, this is about 13 years ago now, he, when he passed away, I said to him, and at the same time I lost my job, so it was all these things happening at the same time and I started, you know, doing a lot of self-work and started thinking I don’t want this to continue with my mother, you know, it was, it, it just did not feel right. It felt right, of course, to me because I felt like I was done wrong and then when he passed away, that really, um, kind of gave me this sense of this is not how it should be for me and for my mom, you know, I mean, maybe when I say for me it may sound selfish, but it starts with me and, um, I just didn’t want to have that to continue and, and besides it was a relationship not with just her but with my oldest sister as well because our family was kind of, um, not very close and, um, but I wanted to have a unity not with my mom but, you know, I mean the reward was with the entire family, especially my sister, my older sister, but so that was the turning point and, um, so when I, I was in Taiwan when he, when he passed away and I was there for about a month and I came home and that was when I met my current partner and then we started, he’s been in, you know, doing a lot of personal development and, uh, we started talking and he found the hypnotherapy school and we just attended the school and that to me that was the, the answer, that was the, that was the tool that’s going to help me start my journey of changing my relationship with myself and my mother.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So when you say hypnotherapy, so was I, you know, I’m not that familiar with hypnotherapy, so to speak, so, so was it hypnotherapy to work on you?

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yeah, it was a school to, it was a school for certified hypnotherapists, you know, that was a school though to attend, but what I was doing was like, well, I’m not working, this is interesting, I heard about it before, you know, so I thought, well, I am going to be working on myself, so why not learn the tools to have a different career and then in the same time I’ll be helping myself, so that’s a kind of a win-win for me, you know, so when we went into school, we signed up and, um, you know, hypnosis is really about, uh, focused awareness, you know, you think about the sports in athletes, they say that I’m in the zone, they’re focused awareness, when you’re reading a book, you’re focused awareness, so if you think about it, you know, when you’re reading, reading a book, a really nice, a good book, you’re so involved in the book, it’s almost like you’re in a trance with the book, so I’m sure there’s times that you’re so, you know, in tune with the book, what you’re reading, you don’t hear anybody, if someone is calling, you probably didn’t hear anybody calling you, you know, so, so hypnosis is just a form of trance, a form of focused awareness, that’s it, and we do that every day, you know, so when we don’t know we’re doing it.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Right, exactly, exactly.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yeah, it’s like, you know, you’re walking out, if you go to the beach, staring at the sunset, you’re in a, your own trance, you’re trance in the beauty of the scenery, the sunsets, you know, so, so utilizing hypnosis and coaching really helped me be more accountable for me, responsible for my actions and my reactions, and of course it was, it wasn’t a very fun ride because I have to really face myself, however, it was a very rewarding journey for sure.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, so we’re going to talk a little bit more about your journey, but first I have, uh, just take a brief commercial, so we will be right back with Evelyn T. Wayne, we’ll be right back [Music] so [Music] [Music] [Music] do [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] hahaha [Music] we are back with Evelyn and, um, so we’re really going to talk about, I really want to go into how, I know you use hypnotherapy to work on yourself, so exactly how did you use it to mend the relationship with your mom?

Evelyn T. Wayne
Well, it’s, you know, as we know, we learn a lot, I learn, you know, most of us learn a lot of things from our primary caretakers, so with hypnosis, it helps me tap into my subconscious mind, which is things that I learned when I was really young, and with the help of my mentor, we discovered some of the limiting beliefs and also the negative emotions that I was carrying, you know, and my belief about my mother, um, her reactions, her actions, I thought that I knew what she believes, so with the help of hypnosis and, and the coaching, it’s really just, um, tapping into my deeper self and finding out what I truly want, and during hypnosis is while you are, I’m super, super relaxed, you know, just, I’m just laying there listening to my mentor giving me my, uh, the positive suggestions to help me create the change that sticks because my conscious mind wants to mend the relationship with my mother, but my unconscious mind, it’s not there yet because of all the, you know, limiting beliefs that I have that it’s not bridging with my conscious mind, so with hypnotherapy and coaching, that’s what it did, it helped me to bridge the conscious mind and the unconscious mind together to create that change.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So, okay, so you were, you were making this change, mending the relationship with your mom, how exactly did you go about it?

Evelyn T. Wayne
So what was interesting is I told my mentor, okay, we have, I have a trip coming up with my mom and my older sister and my younger sister in San Francisco, my youngest sister lives in San Francisco, so I said this is the test to see if the work that word that I’m doing is, it’s working, so I did, I went to visit them and, um, of course my sisters got into a fight, they were just arguing with each other on the way back from dinner and me and my mom was just sitting in the car and go, and usually in the past I would get in with my youngest sister and start going at it with my older sister, and at this, this time, that time I just sat and I just observed, there was no reaction at all, and it was just observing with curiosity, and the thought that came to my mind when I was observing them fighting is, wow, I would have been one of those, one of them in that huddle of just screaming at each other while my mom is just sitting at the corner quietly of just watching us, so we get back to my sister’s house and she was, my younger sister was very upset, so she went out and walked her dog, and my older sister started coming at me, and she was just saying things to me, and I just used some of the stuff that I learned, I spoke with her, you know, in a way, and I told her that I also am working on myself so that we are not continuing this cycle, and, you know, she didn’t understand what I was saying, but it really doesn’t matter because my mom told me later, she said, I don’t know what you said to her, but she’s shifting in the way that she’s interacting with people, so I was like, wow, because I didn’t even, if that wasn’t my intention, you know, my intention would just be truthful because I didn’t want to get into fight, and I did tell my older sister that night, I said, you know, you may want to apologize to, you know, to Kathy, and the next morning she did, I heard her apologize, so that was, I was like, wow, that was, and it, that’s what’s the beauty of it is I did not, it wasn’t something that I planned to do, it was something that I just stuck with what I believe that is true for me [Music] and I just let it happen, and, and ever since that day, it was, I took another trip with my mom to San Francisco, I spent the whole day with her on the bus, oh, I couldn’t do that in the past, there is no way, not even on the phone for five minutes, you know, without getting to argument and disagreement, so that was really, really fun, I enjoyed her telling me the same story three, four times, I, I, I didn’t mind, um, it was, it was just a different experience, it was a different perspective, it, I was still me, she’s still her, but the dynamic was so different, and, um, and then she, what, well, I’m gonna back it up, what happened was before that happened was she was on the video call with me, she’s in Taiwan, and I’m here, okay, and she’s, at that time, I was, I gained a lot of weight, and I knew it, you know, it wasn’t healthy, so her tactic is to shame me, as usual, you know, that’s the tactic, right, so she, she’s done that many, many years, and, um, so we’re on the video call, she’s telling me, well, you did this, and you look bad, so I’m sitting there looking at her on video, and I started feeling this sensation in my, the pit of my stomach, I was ready to just like, okay, I’m gonna attack you, and as soon as I felt that right where my navel is, I said to myself, the voice is like, nope, you’re not doing this, so I looked at my mom, and I said, yeah, you’re right, that’s all I said, and that look on her face, she was like, I know she, it was silent for a few seconds, and she goes, well, I’m going to the store today, she completely changed her story, and it’s that moment that changed everything for the both of us.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yes, you know, I, I tell my clients, you cannot change your mother, but you change the way you respond to challenging situations.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yeah.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
And it’s usually all about the way we communicate, you know, and with what you did right then, it was like you did not feed into, and, and that’s wonderful, that’s something that I really think is very valuable, uh, for mothers, adult daughters and mothers, they get into those arguments of misunderstandings or that same negative pattern, it’s really up to the daughter, it’s really, you know.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Right, yes.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yeah, and like you said, that feeling that came over you, but then, then it’s like you have to, as daughters, you have to step back and, you know, you don’t want to do it.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yeah, it’s hard, it’s challenging, it’s very.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yeah, yeah, and so is that something that you continue, so, so because you mended that relationship, and so you continue not responding, you know, in the way that you, that normally you would respond, right? So how did it, that affect your relationship with your sister?

Evelyn T. Wayne
Well, it was very interesting is I wasn’t really talking to her, you know, after that trip, but out of the blue, she called me and she asked me if I would, would help her in her business. She’s an endocrinologist, she’s a doctor, so she has two offices, and I was surprised because, you know, what I used to do in corporate, I used to write procedures, I was manager, and I, and so with structure of the business and stuff, and she knew about it, but, you know, we never really talked about it, but since this dynamic change with my mom, out of the blue, she called me, and I was like, what, you want me to help you with what? I mean, that was kind of short-lived anyway, but it was very, um, I was very pleasantly surprised that we were able to even have some, um, you know, adult conversation rather than in the past, it was just something beginning to find, she said something wrong, I said something wrong, and she hangs up on me, you know, one of those sisterly fights, you know, so, but, but that was very different, and ever since after that, and it changed her in a way where she wasn’t really involved with, um, the family so much after she got married, so, um, after this, she got more into it, so she, she joined our family group chat, you know, so she’s also here, she’s in, um, California, so my brother and his family and my mom, they’re in Taiwan, so we stay in touch in the group chat, so she joined in, so that was very interesting, especially when we go back to Taiwan, we used to go back to Taiwan every year to visit, and I think back now is if all of us are sitting in one room, we’re just, you can tell who wants to hang out with who and who doesn’t want to be around who, and it’s, you know, with my brother, my nephew, my sisters, I’m very close to my youngest sister, so we’re always just kind of huddling in one, one side of the room, and my older sister will be kind of on her own, but since the dynamic change, it was more of a, a group interaction.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
That is so wonderful, that is so wonderful, so mending your relationship with your mom helped you really, uh, with your other relationships.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yeah.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
And, but now as far as your professional relationships, did that affect the way mending that relationship with your mom, did that affect any of your professional relationships where you felt there were challenges?

Evelyn T. Wayne
How do you mean?

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Well, okay, um, the relationship, the relationship with our moms affects all of our other relationships, and so that’s what I mean, um, and that you were reactive and you used to be reactive as far as your mom was concerned, so did you see that like in your professional life or, or even with, you know, other personal friends, that’s what I’m, that’s what I’m getting at.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Oh, okay, oh yeah, yeah, especially in business, I think I, I can, you know, 20, in my 20s, I was, the way that I was with customers sometimes, you know, I would say maybe short fuse, I still did my job, I was in customer service back then, and, but I can tell that I was very, um, what would I say, um, well, a nicer way, it’s a very assertive.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay, okay.

Evelyn T. Wayne
But I was still, you know, because at that time it was in my mind is don’t tell me what to do.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Got it.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Right, because my mom was telling me what to do.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Got it, I, I can relate.

Evelyn T. Wayne
So it definitely did, yeah, it definitely, it did affect at that time, but I think when I got, you know, in my 30s and 40s, it didn’t really affect me so much, it’s more about, it affect me more in a positive way, my, my dad, you know, we own a lot of companies, so when I became, when, um, was the sales manager and I was traveling a lot to China and Taiwan, that was our bond, we can talk about management, we can talk about employees, and I utilize that to bond with him, you know, um, the, the latter part of his life, so I, I would say that part of it helped me, but in my 20s, definitely, if, yeah, that attitude was there for sure.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
You know, I, and that’s what, um, I tell people that the relationship with your mom is really the most important relationship in your life because it affects everything, I mean, it affects the way you relate to other people, it affects the friends you choose, it affects whether or not you get married, whether or not you have kids, you know, all kinds of your careers, the way you dress, everything, and so it’s so important that we really kind of focus on that. When I was doing research about, um, you know, the challenges in the mother-daughter relationship, I was surprised that I didn’t see a lot of research, you know, uh, now I see, you know, some articles, but, and then when, you know, you watch movies and there’s this challenging mother and daughter relationship, it’s always a comedy, you know, it’s like, it’s, you know, it’s, it’s not really taken seriously, but a question came in and the question is, what it, what would you say to, uh, adult daughters who had challenging relationships with their moms and, but their moms have passed, how can hypnotherapy help them?

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yeah, hypnotherapy will definitely help someone with a passing, you know, parent because it’s, as we know, it’s when the parent physically is not here, but energetically, spiritually, they’re with their loved ones all the time, I mean, that’s what I believe, you know, and most of my clients do too, and because just because the person is not physically present anymore, it does not mean that you cannot let go because the, the main, uh, the factor of you changing is starts from you as an individual, so if the older, the, the daughter is struggling, it’s more about working on herself about what can she forgive about herself because she is still her mom, they’re a mirror of each other, you know, whoever, even though you may not like the other person, but that person is a mirror of you, whoever that you’re closest to, and especially your mother, you know, so there’s that connection there, so with hypnotherapy is to tap into that subconscious mind of, of discovering, you know, what it is that was motivating them to do what they used to do and what resources that they already have within them, we’re going to utilize those resources because a lot of us have resources in us and we forget to use some of them, you know, for example, if someone can have confidence maybe 10 years ago, they have such confidence, they were able to do everything they wanted to do, 15 years later, they, they’re in a situation, it’s like, wow, I don’t have confidence anymore because this and this and that, well, but that confidence is still in that person, that’s all, that’s still there, you just haven’t tapped into it, so with hypnotherapy, we’re tapping into the deepest part of the, a person so that we can work on the resources and help them let go because it’s really not about the mother, it’s not really not about the other person, it’s all about us, the individual.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yeah, right, right, right, so tell us, okay, so at the beginning of, of this, uh, show, I talked about all the things that you do, yeah, like, oh my god, you know, so tell us all about what you do, I, I know you work with, uh, mothers and daughters, but, but as far as, uh, the other, other certifications, so tell us about that.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Okay, yeah, it’s just a combination of, uh, different methods that I, that I use with my clients, but mainly is hypnotherapy and coaching, so with the pain management, I work with a lot of clients that has chronic illness, so it’s to help them manage their discomfort, you know, we have client, uh, there’s clients that they may have been experiencing a level maybe eight discomfort throughout the day, with hypnotherapy and pain coaching could help them to reduce that pain to probably two or one or sometimes it, you know, it may not be there, so a lot of times what we notice is if someone has a chronic pain for over six or eight weeks, that could be, not always, it may be an indicative and emotional issue.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Really?

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yeah, because what the, so what happens is our subconscious mind can’t speak to us, right, so, so as we’re talking right now, we’re consciously speaking to each other, and right before we go to bed, you know, we hypnotize ourselves every night, that state where you’re kind of groggy and you feel so tired and can’t really open your eyes and you fall asleep, that period right there, that’s hypnosis.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Really?

Evelyn T. Wayne
So we hypnotize ourselves every night, so what I, in my sessions with my clients is we’re utilizing that, that state because that’s the state where the subconscious mind is awake and your conscious mind is going to sleep, you know, when you’re sleeping, you’re, you’re not consciously aware, oh, I’m breathing, how many a minute, my blood is pumping, you know, um, all my cells is working as I’m resting, so your, your subconscious mind is really the domain of your health, your body, so hypnotherapy and coaching is we’re tapping into the subconscious mind and that’s where all that good, good stuff that we need to let go of all swimming in there, you know, so that, that’s where you, and we’re utilizing the, the relaxation, you know, utilizing the relaxation so your mind is more open and during hypnosis, you’re so, your body is so relaxed but your mind is really, really alert, so and, you know, the, what hypnotherapy is, as a practitioner, I’m just a guide to your deeper self, to your resources, to your own answers, I’m not the authority of anyone, I’m just there to facilitate, to guide them to that, to the change that they want.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yeah, okay, all right, yeah, I had a couple of questions that came in, um, we only got a few minutes, okay, so, uh, which one, which one of your clients has been the most difficult to deal with? I know you can’t say the names, but a situation.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Let’s see, it’s actually a, um, well, I wouldn’t even say he’s diff, and, you know, the client was difficult, but it was a very, very interesting case, um, he had, um, what was the word, um, had a stroke, he was a stroke patient, so he was referred to me by one of our students that actually works at a brain injury center, so I was working with him and it was really hard for us to communicate because he, it was really hard for him to speak, is slow speaking, and he was going to speech classes, his wife is there to interpret for me because she understood his mumbles, and a lot of times when I’m asking questions, it was, I couldn’t really understand him, so, so I said, she’s not really difficult, but it was in my shoes, like, oh my god, how am I going to do this, you know, as soon as he wasn’t really speak, I couldn’t really understand him, however, when he’s in hypnosis, deep hypnosis, he’s able to speak clearly, I’m also, you know, and I would ask him to say certain words and he will repeat it, it’s doing more homework when his speech therapist is giving him, and I’m reinforcing what he’s being taught and practicing, and he couldn’t raise his right arm, you know, when he’s conscious, like halfway, in hypnosis, he raises his arm all the way up.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Wow.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yeah, it’s such a phenomenal work where you, you can see how powerful a person’s mind is in their subconscious mind is when you are completely relaxed and, you know, you’ve been relaxed situations, nothing really matters at that moment, at that moment, you know, so we are, I am also teaching my client to be in the present moment, right now, there’s nothing going on, what’s going on is your head, whatever that’s swimming in there, that’s what’s going on, but right now, you’re okay, you know, that, that’s really the core of the teaching and like educating and helping someone understand, it’s like, it’s okay to be in the present moment, whatever that’s in your mind right now, yes, it’s still going to be there, but is it really true because it’s not happening right now.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yeah, they always talk about, uh, being in the present and it’s, it’s like you have to concentrate to be in the present because all these things start going through your mind, you start getting distracted, it’s, it’s, it’s hard to be in the present, so to speak, so we only just got a couple of minutes and, uh, we had another question, but it, it’s, uh, I think it’s kind of long and drawn out, but you can answer yes or no, this conversation falls under the category of mental health, should the government make mental health free to everyone?

Evelyn T. Wayne
God, that would be great, but then I’ll be out of business, is that a good answer? Yeah, I mean, there’s, there’s definitely help out there, you know, for sure, and, and I just think that even mental health is very, very important and sometimes people tack on to the rate of it, you know, the coaching and stuff, so for me, as we talk about certain things, it’s, it’s not really the coaching, you know, the stuff that we do, helping someone transition, transform their lives, that’s the value there, I don’t know how, how can you put a price on that, you can’t, I mean, we’re not a commodity off the shelf, we’re helping someone transform their lives, so it’s really about the value that you see of this type of help and the person that’s guiding you, or are you just looking, I mean, because us human being, you can’t put a price on a human being.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Exactly, I, I agree with you, I agree with you, so if people want to get in contact with you, so they are to go to your website, which I’m telling you, uh, go to the website, is it, it’s so interesting and you see this, the cutest picture, all right, it’s me playing my piano and his baby is so cute, but go to www.evelyntvwayne.com and if you do that, you will get all of her information, you will see all of her contact, you will see everything that Evelyn can do for you, and, um, I just think, you know, the work you are doing is just so amazing, so wonderful, and we needed to say the same thing, that you are amazing, what you do is amazing, but I want to thank you so much for, uh, coming on, your information and what you’ve talked about, I know you’ve given my audience, including me, uh, uh, just loads and loads and loads of value, so I, I want you to have a beautiful, blessed rest of your day, I know you’re out there in sunny California.

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yes, it’s hot today.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Oh, I don’t want to hear, so thank you so much, thank you so much, and we will see you again, okay?

Evelyn T. Wayne
Yes.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
All right, bye. Wow, this has been great, uh, Mother’s Day is Sunday and, um, call your mom, call your mother, even if you’re not having the best relationship with her, call your mother, wish her a happy Mother’s Day, so I will see you again next Thursday, same time, same place, have a blessed one, bye [Music].