Relationship Matters tv – Scott Kiesling, Relationship Coach Extraordinaire

Join me as I have a conversation with Scott Kiesling who along with his wife Nancy are life and relationship coaches, helping people to build an ultimate relationship with themselves first, so they can have the relationships in their life they’ve always desired. They use their unique method of adventure therapy to help people overcome their self-doubt and fears and tap into their authenticity. Are you ready to stop unwanted patterns and learn a new way of being in a relationship? Let's learn the difference between traditional relationships and enlighted relationships. You DON'T want to miss this episode of #relationshipmatterstv.

Transcript

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening wherever you are in the world it’s Dr. Jan Fortman with Relationship Matters TT. I hope everyone is having a beautifully blessed morning, afternoon, or evening. I’m here right outside of Chicago and we’ve had really, really nice weather, you know, like in the 50s but tomorrow is supposed to snow. Ah, you know what they say when you live in Chicago, you know even if it’s 90 degrees you better have a jacket and some gloves and a hat and a coat or something with you because you never know what’s going to happen with this weather. Well, I am really, really, really excited this evening to have my guest on the show tonight. Well, it’s nighttime here in Chicago, well it’s seven o’clock so yeah, but anyway, I am really happy to have someone on that I really admire and um his, let’s see, he’s half of the team, his better half and I can say that, uh won’t be able to make it but he’s here and I am so glad that he is here. So let me tell you about Scott Keesley, the other half of the Nancy and Scott Kingslands. They are life and relationship coaches. They help people to build ultimate relationships with themselves first because you know that’s important because if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself you can’t have it with anyone else and they can have the re you can they will help you to have the relationships that you want and that you desire in your life and they do it through Adventure therapy that I really want to know about and what happens with this adventure therapy it helps people to overcome their self-doubt, their fears and helps them to tap into their authenticity. Now after two years of marriage Scott was involved in an accidental explosion and this resulted in some changes in his relationship so we’re going to talk about that but I’m going to bring him on right now. Okay Dr. Jan get your get your uh Mouse here together now. Hi Scott.

Scott Keesley
Hey Dr. Jan, how are you?

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
I am doing great, how are you doing?

Scott Keesley
Very well, thank you and thank you for having us or me on the show.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yeah, uh your your better half now see if you were the woman I’d probably say your other half she wasn’t even able to make it but I’m just happy to see you.

Scott Keesley
Well thank you very much I’m honored to be here.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Oh great, I’m I’m happy. Uh so just tell me just a little bit about you.

Scott Keesley
Where shall I start? Uh so I grew up in New York, I spent 30 years in the film industry, uh until I had that unfortunate uh incident that you spoke about a minute ago. Um I have been a rock climbing instructor, I own a rock climbing gym and that’s really where uh our adventure therapy started. Um and now I’m a Tony Robbins talk coach, I went through the Robin’s Madonna’s uh uh coaching program about eight years ago.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Stop, are you a fire walker?

Scott Keesley
Uh I am not, I am not.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
I am.

Scott Keesley
Oh beautiful, I love that. Um I have been following Tony for about 25 years and um have gotten to talk to him a few times there’s a there’s a picture where am I over there of me and him uh and he is my mentor and it really it really pushed me into um wanting to help other people uh and and that’s really where Nancy and I started to get into the relationship realm um because after failed relationship after failed relationship I finally figured out it was me.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay so I know you said that about you know you have to love yourself and you have to have a relationship with yourself first so you so how did you start with improving the relationship with yourself?

Scott Keesley
Yeah so I grew up in a in a challenging household uh and so I had a certain set of beliefs as I grew up and as I become you know became a young man and through my younger teenage years I had some trauma and again that created a place uh of sort of hiding right and you know maybe some of the listeners and and the viewers can can relate to this but I began to sort of put on masks one after the next after the next from all the different experiences that I was having in my life and it was a form of protection but it also created a character that was not authentic and what I mean by that is I grew up very empathetic I I’m a man with feelings uh I’m you know I cry I you know I have emotions and as a young child I really felt that very strongly and it was it was sort of taken away by my caretakers belief systems right men shouldn’t cry men shouldn’t have emotions and so fast forward to my mid-20s and I can’t hold relationships I can’t just wouldn’t work with anybody and so when I took that look at me and I started to investigate why I had the same patterns replaying themselves in my life it didn’t matter what uh what the girl looked like or where she was from or her education or anything didn’t matter who she was the outcome was the same and so I began to see those patterns in myself and again help to the coaches and the mentors that I had at the time that I finally started to listen and and really absorb that you had to do the investigation on yourself you had to find that self-love and self-worth to be able to attract in good relationships.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So so so what did you do you you reached out to so you knew that you needed to do something about your relationships so you reached out to relationship coaches or was Tony Robbins the first one you reached out to or you had different coaches?

Scott Keesley
So I’ve had many coaches uh okay and mentors and one of my mentors uh his name is Chad Chester uh he was probably the first man in my life to really teach me what it was to be a man a real man in my eyes right to have a motion to be able to have conversations to not make it my way or the highway to right all of these different things and as he mentored me I got to a point where I needed to go deeper so then I worked with a coach in California who was actually an acting coach and I learned really about human behavior and how we create this character that we become which again is in our patterns in the belief systems that we carry from our parents our caregivers our siblings our aunts and uncles right we as 0 to 11 years old we take on these beliefs and so discreeting those um I found my mentor and then my coach in California and then Tony Robbins and that uh that really pushed me you know you know Tony’s teachings uh and it just elevated me to a point of really diving in to find out why I ticked the way I tick.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay all righty so once you found out and like the way you ticked and you improved yourself is that when you met the love of your life?

Scott Keesley
So yeah I you know after having failed relationship after failed relationship I decided and I was you know I decided at that point like okay I have to really find me like who am I what do I like uh how do I want to be treated how do I want to treat others and treat myself in a relationship right what wouldn’t I stand for in a relationship from myself again um and so I took three and a half years off of dating of uh one-night stands of all of it I just focused on me okay and about three years into that Journey I really started to kind of feel like I was ready again I was this new authentic true me and I began to each morning say uh uh a little manifestation um prayer if you will uh and so every morning I would get up and I would say when it’s time I want to meet the most beautiful woman who just wants to be my friend who doesn’t want anything to do with me in an intimate or relationship way except for a friendship and and here’s why I developed this incantation I had never been friends with a woman I have always had it in ulterior motive and I wanted to learn what it was like to have this this relationship this friendship without any of the well I need to be this so she’ll like me right because that was big for me I was a chameleon turned into whatever they wanted me to be so that they would be with me um and so after about six months of that incantation I met Nancy.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
All right listen out there folks who are looking for that one okay and you know here’s what we one of the things that we talk about with our clients it’s we would have never been what we are time to the day we met and the reason for that is because I wasn’t ready right I wasn’t the man that she needed me to be to attract in that person uh we have to become that authentic us we have to become the person we want them to love and drop the patterns and the habits and the beliefs and the the filters we look through um and I got my wish.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Wow wow you know there’s a particular person whose name I’m not going to call but uh I’m just going to make sure that he sees if he’s not looking this evening that he’s he yeah that’s all I gotta say right oh my goodness that that is so wonderful so a question came in already a Sandy Bernie and it says was she ready did she just want friendship?

Scott Keesley
Yeah so uh it’s a it’s actually a fun story um so I was working on a movie called We’re the Millers in in Wilmington North Carolina and I stepped out of the building that we were filming and it’s a little apartment building and I stepped out onto the street and there was this girl across the street with this beautiful German Shepherd and I love dogs I’ve had dogs my whole life I love big dogs and so I crossed the street and I said hey would you mind if I said hello to your dog and she said oh my dog doesn’t like anybody and I said well would you mind if I gave it a shot and the dog’s name was Layla and I petted her and she just loved on me and Nancy and I got to talking and one of the first things she said to me that day we had just met and she said you know I’m not looking to like go out with anybody and I was like well I I literally just came over to say hello to your dog and we filmed in Wilmington for about five months and every time that we were filming in the downtown area Nancy would be in the crowd right she would be one of the onlookers and I’ll share a little secret because Nancy’s probably gonna leave a comment somewhere on here I think she was stalking me okay it turns out she was stalking not stalking but watching Jennifer Aniston in the movie and what she got to find out later is that so every time she was in the crowd I would come out and I would say hello and we would talk and it it got to the point where we had coffee and we we really became great friends um but when she found out later she thought it was always a coincidence that I knew she was there but we have little radios that we wear at work and uh some of the guys would say hey your stalker’s here and I’d go out here [Laughter].

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So how long so how long were you all together before you got married?

Scott Keesley
So we were friends for a year uh before we started the date uh and then we dated for two years and I just I knew I just I knew I knew earlier on uh okay I was gonna spend the rest of my life with this woman.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Oh okay and so two years into our Our dating uh at Christmas I asked her to marry me.

Scott Keesley
Oh wow and she said yes.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
That’s so wonderful hahaha so now um I read in your bio you were married and then you had an accident and uh and it’s you you had vertigo you had a lot of things that happened to you dramatic things that happened to you physically afterwards so was that a strain on your relationship or did it change it in any kind of way?

Scott Keesley
Yeah you know I think I think it was both um you know from my perspective it you know I was sort of the the man of the house right I I had a great job I opened doors for her I drove her where we wanted to go I you know I like doing for her uh you know I cook I do dishes I clean right and she doesn’t cook so it worked out that I do cook and that all changed in a moment in a moment right our whole life changed to me having a brain injury and her having to become the caretaker and do all of everything uh including taking me for walks um and in the beginning it was a couple of yards you know a couple of feet uh and then it was the parking lot and then it was up the street and then it was around the block um and you know that put strain on her to become that caretaker uh we we were very blessed to really have a toolbox full of strategies to be able to not fall into a trap or a or a a dysfunction of you know our marriage falling apart or me staying on the couch or you know there’s so many other ways it could have gone but because we had the tools and strategies to really communicate to really um really show each other what we were feeling and going through right I had identity loss in the sense of my identity was tied to my job right I made movies um I was I was successful um my identity was tied to that so I didn’t only lose that every day I went to work I was around about 115 people every day and communicated and collaborated with those people and now it was just me and her right on a couch uh being told that I’m never gonna walk straight again I’m never gonna speak correctly again um you know I’m always going to be dizzy and the world’s gonna be upside down for me and again I go back to the tools and the toolbox we have of not listening not only to our own limiting beliefs but other people’s limiting beliefs including doctors uh and finding ways to alternative ways to heal myself so that our marriage could be that much stronger today than it was yesterday.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay all right so so you use these toolbox this toolbox that you had so so what made you you all decide that you would do you know you could help other people?

Scott Keesley
Yeah great great question uh not only from the the coaching we had done before and all the work we did in ourselves to change the outcomes of our relationships but then we got to see it actually like work in one of the hardest times in a relationship um and so really seeing that and deciding that you know I’m never gonna really go back to the other business what could we do to help others what could we do to to take people that may be in a situation like this um maybe in a good relationship and they just want it better uh maybe they’re single and they have everything they want and they just can’t seem to grasp that great relationship the tools and strategies that we used are what we use to become who we were to attract each other okay so really diving deep into those and seeing the changes that we could have seeing how we could make that situation beneficial we could see the gift in it we could grow through it together and come out stronger on the other side um we really wanted to share that with people.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay okay all right well uh I just want to do this right quick I don’t know how I can communicate with this person it’s a LinkedIn user and she just sent me a message says you just popped on but for some reason she can’t hear me and I’m not gonna go to LinkedIn um um so oh well I’ll let her know whoever it just says LinkedIn use it you know it doesn’t say the name of the person so I don’t know why they’re you know technology is great when it works yeah for some reason because someone else came in first and said well I can’t see you but now they can see me so I don’t know but anyway so what I want to do Scott is just take a quick break and then I want to go into the kind of coaching that you do this it that you and nasty do this adventure coaching because I saw a couple of things and I thought can’t do that but but I I’m really interested in that so so we’re gonna be right back and we’re going to find out what adventure retreats and Adventure coaching is it’s it’s really something very unique and uh so don’t go away we’re going to be right back so I gotta take a quick break and uh we’re gonna come right back with Scott Keesley.

[Music Break]

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
We are back from our little break and we’re going to go right back with Scott Kiesling so you saw some really great promo videos if you feel that you need a promo video for your book or for your services or your products then just reach out to me Jan for now125 gmail.com and what I’ll do is I’ll put uh my email address up a little later but I want to hurry up and get back to this so Scott Adventure coaching and adventurous Retreats tell us about that.

Scott Keesley
So you know our coaching is really about rewiring the brain right and taking it from the state that it’s in to a really adventurous mindset and what we mean by adventurous mindset is being open to the idea of New Perspectives of new communication of new language around in our relationships and really doing that investigation on self to be your true authentic self to attract in that partner that you truly want or to build a better relationship right and once we work on that mindset just like Tony Robbins we want to tie in that physiology right you talked about the fire walk earlier uh in the program and what we do is very similar um but we do things like waterfall repelling white water rafting horseback riding hiking in the jungle with monkeys and two cans and that Adventure doesn’t have to start there in a jungle right it can start right in your hometown in your backyard um you know some of our clients the adventure is walking around their block or finding a park in their neighborhood um but when we tie that physiology into that new mindset into that adventurous mindset we make a true complete change um and any of you that have done the firewalk know what I’m talking about so within those Adventures there’s there’s coaching the whole time and what we’re doing is we’re we’re really uncovering that old belief system we’re getting to the root cause of the patterns and habits that we live out of that give us the outcomes in our lives that we don’t want and once we begin to practice that we learn the tips and tools and strategies to be able to create this change and then we practice and why do we practice because this is a lifestyle change we have been practicing the old patterns for as long as you’ve been alive however old you are that’s how long you’ve been living in those patterns so what patterns do we like what patterns and habits don’t we like are they empowering or are they disempower and so as we as we uncover those root causes we’re able to you’re able to really change the idea the meaning that we give the belief the belief itself and that creates a space for new choices and when we make new choices out of a new habit and pattern we get tremendous change very different outcomes in our life and our relationships.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay so I saw that white water rafting and then I saw waterfalls so how first of all what if you’re not the outdoorsy type and what if you like uh I could not see myself quite water rapping number one I don’t know if I can still swim and then number two I think I’d be afraid of drowning anyway and so how do you get people to do something that’s really out of their comfort zone I could see walking around the block you know or something like in your own neighborhood but how do you get people to do something that’s really way out of their comfort zone?

Scott Keesley
So we really start with one degree shifts right small small uh incremental steps that build the pathway to you being able to and wanting to come on an adventure therapy Retreat um and the way that we do it is again we we coach and really find the root cause and that belief so there’s a belief uh that came from the language that you just used right I’m not sure if I could swim anymore uh all of those pieces are where we would start on our coaching calls we would start with that language that you use subconsciously that comes out in conversation and then we would discreet the beliefs about whether you could swim or not whether you would need to swim or not um right because it’s you know we’re not going over waterfalls in the white water raft uh so we you know we haven’t had a client fall out yet but it’s really just creating those beliefs uh around the fears that you know you because you’ve never done it there’s some fear there so we would start with those one degree shifts um and really build the new belief system with that adventurous mindset and as we do that one degree shift at a time one one stepping stone at a time by the time it’s we’re ready to go on the retreat oh you’re ready like you’re ready to tackle it just like that firewalk you’re ready to get out there and really do things that you never believed you could and when we do that when we conquer that waterfall when we conquer that that white water rafting we get to lock that in right not only into the memory that oh yeah I did that but into that empowering part of us that that creates the new authentic you who believes you can conquer anything and then we take that out into our life into our relationships into our work and we have more productivity we have more connection we have more love uh we have more variety we have you know it really hits on all of the cylinders to really create this this person who now believes like wow I can do anything I can ask for that raise I can talk to my partner about things in the bedroom I can right we can we can step out of our comfort zone more and more once we really conquer those pieces but it all begins with small one degree shifts that build into right if so I used to live on a sailboat and when you’re sailing you’re not looking at the compass the whole time right I’m not focused just on the compass I’m focused on everything that’s going on with the sales and the vote and maybe making lunch and we’re gonna get off course all right we’re going to get off course just like we do in life and when we look at that Compass we go oh I’m off course but instead of panicking or not realizing that we’re off course we just shift a little bit we shift just a little and it seems very small in that moment but when we look at a length of distance or a length of time that one degree shift becomes very very big and that is what builds that authentic self to be able to enjoy and Conquer one of our adventure therapy retreats.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Well and you remind me of Tony Robbins in a sense in in that uh for people who don’t know what the firewalk is that is walking over hot coals without being burned and and he does build you up to that and you know uh because I remember I’m not gonna do that no but then it kept going it they kept going and kept no you could do it you can do it you can do it and you’re right when I did walk over the clothes and I’m telling people it it you know it’s real because when you see them pouring those not goes in there it’s like I’m doing that you know and and there are some people who in the middle of it they lose that and then they feed they burn you know uh but it but I did feel like if I can walk over some hot coals I can do anything so I can see you you know why why you coming from that that level so to speak so now if it’s a married couple what if only one of the partners wants to do this and the other one doesn’t?

Scott Keesley
Great question so one of the things that we talk to with couples a lot is that you know and we do run across that where one partner wants to build the better relationship and the other partner might not be so invested if you will and you know what we have found is that it it truly only takes one partner to better the relationship and you can take the tools and strategies that we give into your relationship and what it does is you know you get that ripple effect if you will it’s like dropping a stone in a pond you get that ripple effect and when you do the work you know we hear a lot from from couples that one partner does this or doesn’t do that or always does this or always does that and we get into the blame game and one small thing that we can change is the language that we use in that relationship and one partner can change that language from the you language you do this you always do that you never do that you’re always this or that and we can change that to the I language and what I mean by that is it can be I feel in this experience this way I’m not blaming anybody I’m just simply stating the way that I feel in the situation and what that does is it does two things first it doesn’t bring up the walls of your partner when we play the blame game your partner shuts down you may have experienced this in a relationship once or twice but when we when we get into the blame game we shut down when we get into that I language of hey this is how this experience is making me feel there’s a very different beginning to this conversation and it gives your partner the opportunity to rise up it gives your partner the opportunity to have a different conversation because we began it in a different way and that ripple effect can go into every part of our relationship until all of a sudden your partner is like wow I want to do more of what you’re doing this has been great right maybe there’s maybe there’s more intimacy because of it uh maybe there’s better communication and things are smoother because of it now that doesn’t mean we don’t fall back into Old patterns or things don’t get triggered up but when we teach this it’s it’s all about awareness and having the awareness that oh I’m in that you game I’m in that you never you should you shouldn’t language again and if we can catch that when we catch that we take a pause we take a breath maybe we walk away for a moment and then we come back with that eye language in a calmer state so that that conversation that pattern that we have takes a different turn and has a different outcome.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay all right so a question came in here um in your coaching how much do you think that religion plays in a relationship and then uh the person put common commonality in parenthesis.

Scott Keesley
Yeah I think that that commonality is a is an important thing in a relationship for certain aspects um I think that it’s I believe that it’s okay to have different beliefs right and and that’s the the piece that we really work on or the beliefs behind the the communication and the building of this relationship so you know if if one person is very religious and one is not or they’re two different religions then how can we how can we meet at a place where it’s not about your religion is right and my religion is wrong or your belief is right and my belief is wrong where can we meet where I can see your perspective and you can see my perspective and that doesn’t mean that we have to agree on that perspective now we have an exercise that we call the three column list and it’s a list of what we don’t want in a relationship what we do want in a relationship and what we won’t stand for from ourselves in a relationship and what this exercise helps us to do is build boundaries so I would never tell someone that your religion you know shouldn’t be a boundary or couldn’t or wouldn’t or right that’s up to each individual um you know I I am a very spiritual person uh I believe in God I believe in the Creator I also believe in the universe and manifesting and that I’m part of it that I get to co-create with God and I wanted in my little three column list one of the things I wanted was someone who was spiritual as well as religious right that there wasn’t this solid drawn line so for me that became a non-negotiable okay and and that’s how we sort of work through what that can be.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay so uh what is the biggest obstacle in repairing relationships?

Scott Keesley
Great question what is the biggest obstacle uh I would say it’s the individual’s mindset and belief system um because if there’s a belief that it’s the other person’s fault if there’s a belief that I can’t change or they can’t change and they’re not willing to really dive into that belief and see why they have it understand where it comes from uh you know so like my mentors have always said you know the biggest obstacle to overcome is your own mind.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Yeah yeah you yeah you’re right about that and and that’s that self-love and that self-talk so now do people come to you let’s say their personal relationships are fine but in their professional lives they can’t seem to form any kind of positive lasting relationships do you do the same things with them or?

Scott Keesley
Yeah um because all relationships are built on the same Foundation okay self okay right and we go oh that person’s this or that at work and they don’t get it and they don’t do this and they don’t so again it comes back to okay what you know what beliefs are there what is that self-talk what is that story that they tell themselves uh about that situation but the foundation is the same the tools are the same so it doesn’t matter if it’s if it’s with your kids if it’s with your employee employers your co-workers uh your intimate relationship or co-parenting um the skills and the strategies and the tools are exactly the same.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Okay I have a a question that came in here from Gwen Dunbar relating back to what you said before how do you know when you know a person well enough what if things are not compatible should you compromise if the good outweighs the bad?

Scott Keesley
Um so again uh I go to the the belief of in I don’t really like the word compromise okay okay and here’s why when we compromise our subconscious is telling us that we gave something up and because we put a meaning on that word and when our subconscious believes that it’s giving something up we get resentful and if we get resentful then we go down we we make choices from that place of resentment if we see somebody’s perspective and can have a conversation around that uh then we can find out how compatible we truly are um and again it comes back to that three column list I was talking about where are the non-negotiables and which ones are we willing to um let go of right if it’s if it’s a non-negotiable and these certain things are my non-negotiables then and the other person uh so one of my non-negotiables is I’m not going to be with a drug addict let’s say okay let’s use that as an example so if somebody is you know uh using and abusing and and that then there’s not a compromise in there for me right there’s not a it’s fine if that’s their Journey but that’s not going to be part of the relationship that I build so it’s really looking at and understanding what we truly want in that relationship what we are uh what our non-negotiables are in it and how we communicate that with each other from the very start um and if it’s a long-term relationship and there’s pieces in there that there’s resentment over then we have we have ways to work through that resentment and really we call it the Clean Slate method uh clean that slate so that we’re starting at a fresh point with new communication with forgiveness um and with really letting go of the the ties That Hold Us in that place um so you know there’s it’s different for each person it’s very personalized in that sense um and I hope that answers your question.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
So a Kiana asked I uh she says what are the three things on the list so say that again about the three the three columns.

Scott Keesley
Yeah so in the First Column it’s what I what I don’t want in another relationship right we’ve all looked back and said oh I don’t want this and I don’t want that and so we can we make that list and then the center column is what do I want in a relationship what do I want in an enlightened relationship and that First Column sort of helps with that second column right because the things we don’t want can really uh shine a light on the things that we do want and then the third column which I felt like for me was the most important and it was what I won’t stand for from myself again in a relationship and I’ll give you an example of what was on my third list there the number one thing and this is going to be hard to believe I know uh was I was very silent in relationships I didn’t speak up uh and it didn’t matter what was going on I only had the conversation in my head and I would I would play it well this and um but I never actually had the conversation so you could see where my relationships would fail so one of the things on that list of what I wouldn’t stand for again from myself was to ever be silent in from my authentic self uh if I feel it I say it and I have a conversation uh and and that is what that three column list is and I I actually had it on my refrigerator when I began to date again um and I would come home from dates and I would look at it and go okay where did I where did I cross my own boundaries where did I let someone else cross boundaries with communication or whatever was on the list um and it really helped to develop that deeper practice of who I authentically was and the type of relationship I was willing and wanted to have.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
You know that third column is very important I never thought about that third column when my husband and I got married we just we had I guess one column because it was what we wanted in the relationship well we never did we never said what we didn’t want and we definitely didn’t think of uh what would I not stand for myself and I think that’s really really really important you know I told you this hour is going to go back quickly so if you all have any more questions you better shoot them in right now because we only got what five minutes to go so so what is the worst case that you saw and how long did it take you to repair that relationship with these two people?

Scott Keesley
Yeah so it the minute you said that that client came to mind right oh okay so we had a uh a client who is a very uh uh very prominent person and the their relationship at home was so incredibly toxic um everything was a fight everything was an argument no matter you know there were times he just would hang out at work even though he had nothing to do just to not go home um and the the amount of toxicity that was going on actually was seeping into the children so the children that have a boy and a girl and you could see the modeling of the adults in the kids and in the way they spoke to their parents and the way their parents allowed it it was it was a a mess if you will right and I don’t like to judge everybody’s on their own journey and but the the client said like it’s a mess I need help I’ve got to I you know he was not in a place where he wanted to walk away from his family uh so he wanted uh some sort of different outcome and like I said it takes one partner uh to get that ripple effect going and in in three months 90 days uh he was well on his way to a calmer safer better relationship in their household.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
All right that’s wonderful so let’s talk about your Workshop hit it up here.

Scott Keesley
Oh yeah so this Workshop is for singles and couples and we’re going to go over communication and uh you know ending the drama cycle and you know so many different pieces uh warning signs and Love Languages and communication Styles and communication strategies that actually work uh and so this Workshop is on February 5th and what I’d like to do is give your audience a promo code uh that I just put in the chat and this will give everybody like 75 off uh of our of our Workshop um so it it ends up very reasonable uh say that again you said what did you say how much off again um and we wanted to do that for your audience uh uh so that they had no reason not to show up right how much is your relationship worth how much is it worth to really find that one that that that person that you’ve been searching for or make that relationship that much better um this Workshop is going to give you the tools and strategies to do that um so I I really hope that you join us uh we look forward to having everybody and it’s going to be a great workshop and it’s it’s a workshop so you’re going to do there’s things you’re going to do you’re going to put in the work uh but it’s going to give you the outcomes that you’ve been looking for.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
Oh wow okay so it’s the promo code people relationships that ought to be easy to remember but 75 off his Workshop so just go to eventbrite.com and you will see enlightened Workshop enlightened relationship workshop for singles and couples tickets so take a screenshot or you know if you don’t know how to take a screenshot which I just learned when people said take a screenshot what to do I thought take the camera but anyway it’s also on our website and our social media platforms uh so you can you can type it in and you’ll find it thank you so much Scott this has been wonderful I’ve learned so much and I am going to and my husband sitting right over here so we’re gonna do these three columns at that last column that just to me that’s just so outstanding and uh oh what a candle so you can’t see the chat I know Kiana because it’s a private chat but the promo code is relationship matters and so you can just go to Cindy nancykesley.com and then you will see the link to the workshop and relationships session great okay all right uh so um yeah that’s thank you Kiana yes it it was it was great so not uh really learn so much I you have brought so much value to my audience and I want everyone to go to your website’s website Scott nancykizzling.com so Scott don’t go anywhere I’m going to we’re going to go off but I want you to stay because I got something to ask you it’s personal okay.

Scott Keesley
Okay.

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman
All righty this has been amazing it’s it’s it’s you know I have guests on and sometimes you know they they really I know they really really really speak to my audience and and really really really speak to me so I I just want to thank all of you who who listened and or who watched and I hope that you got great value I know that you’ve got great value from this episode with Scott Kingsley so what I’m hoping is that you will join me again next week for another episode of relationship matters because there are all kinds of relationships and all kinds of relationship matters and we all relationships do matter and you must remember all relationships are valuable so I will see you again next week on the relationship matters show bye-bye.

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Global Keynote Speaker & Corporate Trainer

Dr. Janice Hooker Fortman “Speaker for All Occasions” is an authentic keynote speaker, corporate trainer, author, life coach, and motivational and inspirational speaker for organizations and companies as well as individuals around the globe. Dr. Fortman gives real world solutions in powerful, engaging and memorable presentations.